Thursday, August 18, 2016

American Child Pornographer Flees to South Korea

(An American child pornographer is on the loose in Korea.)

Yesterday, I had sweet and sour pork for dinner. My wife made the meal from scratch. She excels at all things feminine. Her friends call her the Asian Martha Stewart. The food was delicious. I ate every morsel on my plate in under ten minutes. Then I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite beer in Korea.

I watched Champions League. Manchester City dismantled Steua Bucharest by the score of 5-0. Trust me. It wasn't even that close. City missed two penalty kicks in the first half. The star of the match was Sergio Aguero. He produced a hat trick on enemy terrority. The English Premiere League is very exciting. And this may prove to be the best year ever. There's a lot of parity amongst the teams.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, a lot people don't have the opportunity to relax on their sofa and drink beer. They're too busy scrounging for food in order to survive. Things could certainly be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Pakistan.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the newspaper while enjoying a bathroom break. An American named Jason Edward Clemmer is wanted in North Carolina for producing and distributing child pornography. He's been described as the worst of the worst. Mr. Clemmer fled to South Korea a couple of days ago. The United States tried to warn the Korean government, but nobody picked up the phone.

I turned on CNN. Donald Trump hired Steve Bannon as his new campaign advisor. Mr. Bannon is the head of Brietbart News. My biggest problem is that Steve used to work for Goldman Sachs. So now we have one candidate who delivered speeches at the influential bank for $250,000 a pop. And we have another candidate who is taking his marching orders from a former Wall Street shill. You just can't get away from Goldman Sachs. They're a brood of vipers who have their greedy little claws in everybody's pockets.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Don't Stop Believeing) 

4 comments:

  1. I need to try some Cass someday!!! Maybe I'll look for it at the local beer superstore this weekend lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lucifer.

      Actually, most westerners hate Korean beer. They find it weak and watery. Me? I love the stuff.

      Cheers.

      Delete
  2. I concur on Westerners hating beer here but some of it seems like snobbery and liking to say they know all about European beers. I hadn't drunk beer for years until I came to Korea, I love a cold hite in the summer here, so refreshing..or maybe I got brainwashed by the adverts.

    James

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi James.

      I hate European beer. The stuff's nasty. Give me Korean cat piss every time.

      Cheers.

      Delete