Tuesday, September 27, 2016

One Korean male attempted join Islamic State

(Koreans in ISIS? I can't believe it.)

Yesterday, I ate beef and rice for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of rice. The stuff comes with every meal. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles like a retarded child. I'm wonderful that way. The glass is always half-full at my humble abode. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite brand of Korean beer. It's both smooth and delicious.

I watched an episode of American Horror Story. This season might be the best one ever. The setting is a creepy old farm house in North Carolina. It's haunted by the ghosts of dead witches. The victims are Cuba Gooding Jr. and his white wife. My favorite evil spirit is the one who dresses up like a pig. American Horror Story is genuinely disturbing. You'll have a great time if you're into that kind of stuff.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's nice to drink beer while watching television. Life doesn't get much better than that. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They're too busy toiling in the fields simply to put food on the table. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean man spent time in Turkey and Syria, hanging out with members of ISIS. He now wants to leave the peninsula yet again in order to break bread with his terrorist buddies. However, the powers-that-be have decided to confiscate his passport. He's no longer allowed to travel overseas. Somebody needs to push this retard off a bridge. The world would be better off without him.

I turned on CNN. Charlotte is still in the news. It seems that law and order has been restored to the city. Therefore, the curfew has been lifted by the government. I hope the police respond appropriately. All those thugs who spent their evenings looting and burning stores need to be sent to prison. The world can't abide criminals. Wolves belong in cages.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(The Doobie Brothers)

Monday, September 26, 2016

Foreign prisoners in Korea nearly double in five years

(There are over 2,000 foreigners in the Korean prisons.)

Yesterday, I had shrimp fajitas for dinner. The meal was delicious. My wife's a terrific cook who excels at all things feminine. She's the Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of water. Sometimes, water is the only drink which truly quenches my thirst.

I watched the UFC. One of the bouts featured Bigfoot Silva versus Roy Nelson. Roy's a big fat guy from the state of Texas. Despite his enormous belly, he punches very hard. He knocked Silva cold during the second round. It's time for Bigfoot to retire. He's been slapped silly for the past two years. More physical punishment could lead to brain damage.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to eat shrimp while watching the UFC. Sadly, lots of people don't get to experience this type of joy. They live in the slums and wipe their asses with their bare hands. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Brazil.

I went to bed at 9 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The amount of foreign prisoners in Korean jails has nearly doubled in five years. However, foreigners still only account for two percent of the entire prison population. The vast majority are Chinese followed by Vietnamese and Americans.

I turned on CNN. All the talking heads are excited about tomorrow's debate. I have to be honest. I'm also tingling with excitement. Nearly 100 million people are expected to view the event. Mark Cuban will be seated in the front row to support Hillary. Meanwhile, Trump has threatened to invite Bill's ex-mistress, Gennifer Flowers. Donald's a fighter. That's why I like him so much.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Centerfold)
    

Sunday, September 25, 2016

14th Zika virus infection confirmed in South Korea

(The Zika virus is in South Korea.)

Yesterday, I went to a restaurant with my wife. We both enjoyed a pizza buffet. I'm not a big fan of cheese, so she ordered me a pie with just peperoni and sauce. The meal was delicious. All that starch sent me straight to the moon. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of genuine Coca-Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I usually drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

I watched the remake of Ben Hur at a local cinema. The film was magnificent. The war scene on the galley ship had me on the edge of my chair. But the best part of the movie was the chariot race. I was quite impressed with the broken crippled bodies littering the track. If I were the king of the world, I'd bring back chariot races and Roman circuses. I believe in keeping the peasants entertained. It cuts down on crime.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to spend a Saturday at the cinema. Sadly, lots of people don't get to experience this type of joy. They live in the deep dark jungle and use leaves to wipe their dirty asses. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Amazon rain forest.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 7 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. So far, there have been fourteen confirmed cases of the Zika virus in South Korea. The latest victim was a 34-year-old man who caught the disease in Thailand. Zika doesn't seem too serious for those who aren't pregnant. But one little mosquito bite can turn a new-born babe into a babbling idiot, so the news is quite scary. I truly believe that the sky is falling.

I turned on CNN. A Latino man walked into a shopping mall north of Seattle. He had a rifle and began shooting the place up. When the smoke finally cleared, four dead people lay bleeding on the ground. Three of the victims were female. The police have a fuzzy picture of the assailant and are currently scouring the countryside for this maniac. Let's hope that he is soon apprehended by the powers-that-be. After that, he should be hanged by the neck until dead.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(The Ceiling)

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Police conduct search for missing boy

(The police in Daegu are searching for a missing boy.)

Yesterday, I went to McDonald's for dinner. I had a Big Mac and a large order of French fries. The meal was delicious. I'm a huge fan of junk food. All that starch sends me straight to the moon. I washed the vittles down with a large cup of genuine Coca-Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I usually drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

I watched a show called Stranger Things. It's a Netflix original series which stars Winona Ryder. A little girl with telekinesis escapes from a government lab. She's a human weapon who can kill just by looking at her victims. As you can imagine, all hell breaks loose. Meanwhile, an energy monster starts murdering teenagers. This monster lives in the walls of various houses around town. The show sounds stupid, but it's actually quite good.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's nice to watch Netflix while snacking on chocolate and cola. Sadly, not a lot of people get to experience this joy. They spend their days toiling in the fields to put food on the table. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Afghanistan.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 7 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The police in Daegu are looking for a missing eleven-year-old boy. It's a strange case. The body of the boy's mother was recently fished out of a local river. And his older sister's corpse was found in the apartment wrapped in a blanket. The powers-that-be are baffled. I'm baffled, too. This is a world filled with monsters. Be careful.

I turned on CNN. Ted Cruz has grudgingly decided to endorse Donald Trump. Ted believes that four years of Clinton would be a disaster. I couldn't agree more. That elderly lesbian is pure evil. The first debate between the two candidates takes place in three days. I'm looking forward to the battle. Donald's going to use Hillary like toilet paper. That old hen doesn't stand a chance.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Roger Waters)

Friday, September 23, 2016

Many runaway girls cash in on prostitution

(Korean runaways often become prostitutes.)

Yesterday, I had beef and rice for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of rice. The stuff comes with every meal. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles like the village retard. I'm wonderful that way. The glass is always half-full at my humble abode. I washed the food down with several cups of dong-dong-ju. Dong-dong-ju is Korean traditional rice wine. At least that's what it says on the side of the bottle.

I watched CNN. The governor of North Carolina had to call in the National Guard to deal with the protestors. Protestors? The very word makes me laugh. To me, they look like a bunch of thugs stealing everything they can get their hands on. Plus many of them are violent. They're breaking windows, assaulting the innocent, and burning down stores. The talking-heads are blaming this horrible behavior on racism. It's the white man's fault. I simply refuse to believe the bullshit anymore.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty nihilist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, I've never been beaten half to death by a group of angry black men. Luckily, I live in a very safe neighborhood. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Charlotte, North Carolina.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Many Korean girls who runaway from home become prostitutes. One professor has the figure at 40 percent. Prostitution is a huge problem in Asia. Korea isn't as bad as the Philippines or Thailand. However, you don't have to travel far to find a brothel. It's against the law, but the cops seem to turn a blind eye.

(Prostitution is still rampant in Korea.)

I turned on CNN. Donald Trump's in favor of stop and frisk. He thinks it would work wonders in cities like Chicago. I'm a huge fan of stop and frisk. It makes sense to me. I also believe in racial profiling and vetting the Muslims before they come to America. Hell, let's burn the witches while we're at it. No kidding. Have you seen what rural witch-doctors are doing to albino children in Africa? The poor kids are often murdered for their body parts. It's time to strap these demons to a wooden post and watch them go up in flames. The world needs law and order.

(Let's burn the witch-doctors.)

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Hot Child in the City) 

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Cambodian woman beaten in Seoul

(A Cambodian woman is attacked in Seoul.)

Yesterday, I took my wife to a restaurant. We ate fifteen dollars worth of fried chicken. I'm a huge fan of poultry. It's both cheap and delicious. We also shared a bowl of spicy fish soup. I washed the vittles down with a pitcher of Hite. Normally, I only drink Cass, but this particular eatery doesn't serve it.

I watched CNN. There's been another police shooting involving a black man. This time it happened in North Carolina. The cops arrived at an apartment building and ran into Keith Lamont Johnson in the parking lot. According to the officers at the scene, Keith was brandishing a pistol and talking smack. Consequently, he was terminated with extreme prejudice. Johnson's death has led to violent riots in the city of Charlotte. All hell is currently breaking loose.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, I live in a country with very little violence. It's safe to walk the streets at any time of the day or night. A lot of people aren't as fortunate as me. Crime is a constant problem in their neighborhoods. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Ferguson, Missouri.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about driving to a rock concert. Sadly, I couldn't find the proper venue. I kept running into logs on the highway. After a while, I just went home.

I woke up at six a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Cambodian woman was beaten in Seoul by her Chinese supervisor. Lots of southeast Asians flock to the peninsula to find shitty jobs for low pay. Their lives become hellish. This young lady also claims that she was raped by the same man. If I were king of the world, I'd throw this idiot off a cliff.

I turned on CNN. The family of Terence Cutcher is filing a lawsuit against the city of Tulsa, Oklahoma. Terence is yet another black man who was killed by the police. Mr. Cutcher was jacked up on PCP and decided to park his automobile in the middle of the road. He was told several times by law enforcement to get on the ground and cooperate. Instead, he stumbled toward his SUV with a blank look in his eyes. A high-strung female officer shot and killed Mr. Cutcher with her service revolver.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Poker Face)

Monday, September 19, 2016

A Chinese woman kills her four children with an axe

(A Chinese mother murders her kids with an axe.)

Yesterday, I had beef and fried bread for dinner. The meal was delicious. I'm a huge fan of fried bread. All that starch sends me straight to the moon. My wife is a good cook. She excels in all things feminine. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched the UFC. The two main fights ended in quick knockouts. Derek Brunson caught Uriah Hall with a nasty left hook. Hall fell to the mat like a sack of bricks. Consequently, the ref stopped the bout very early in the first round. During the main event, Michael Johnson hit Dustin Poirier square in the face with a wicked combination. Again, the contest was stopped in the first round. I love the UFC. The violence puts me on edge.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to watch the UFC while lying in bed. In fact, life doesn't get much better than that. Sadly, a lot of people never experience this type of joy. They're so poor that they use their hands as toilet paper. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Philippines.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean woman from Jeju Island was murdered by a Chinese tourist. She was stabbed to death as she prayed in church. The reason for this brute's savage violence? The victim looked like his ex-wife. If I were king of the world, I'd throw this bastard off a cliff.

I turned on CNN. A family in northwestern China no longer qualified for government assistance. The mother, a a penniless subsistence farmer, soon realized that she didn't have any money to feed her four children. Sadly, she killed them all with an axe. Then she took her own life. A week later, her husband committed suicide. The Chinese population are now angry at the powers-that-be. The citizens want a solution to rural poverty.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Love Stinks) 

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Court confirms 20-year term for US citizen who murdered Korean student

(An American gets twenty-years in prison.)

Yesterday, I had shrimp for dinner. The meal was fantastic. I'm a huge fan of seafood. It's both delicious and healthy. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Belgian pilsner. Belgian pilsner is tasty. Unfortunately, it's a little bit out of my price range. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched an episode of Wayward Pines. The female abnormal is in the woods recovering from her wounds. Meanwhile, the male abnormals are hovering around the electric fence, waiting to attack. Jason decides to put the humans back to sleep in their pods. However, there's a problem. Only half the population can be saved. I like Wayward Pines a lot. But I'm starved for entertainment.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty nihilist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's great to watch television while eating shrimp. Unfortunately, a lot of people aren't as lucky as me. They spend their lives in the jungle, gnawing on monkey brains and drinking dirty water. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in El Salvador.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had another dream about defecating in Burger King. The management was very upset. They called the police.

I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Korean court recently confirmed a 20-year jail sentence for a man who murdered a Korean student back in 1997. The villain's name is Arthur Patterson.

Supposedly, Arthur stabbed the victim in a Burger King bathroom. But here's the deal. The man who did the actual deed is named Mr. Lee. He got away with the crime after being exonerated by the ROK's supreme court twenty-years ago. Foreigners are treated differently on the peninsula. Therefore, it's important to stay squeaky clean because you won't get any justice.

I turned on CNN. A bomb went off in Manhattan, injuring twenty-five innocent Americans. Sadly, the mayor of New York is a real liberal shithead. He claims that the bombs were placed intentionally but that the Muslim community probably wasn't involved. Talk about political correctness run amok. We all know the truth. This was the work of Islam. It's time to start listening to Trump. Muslims need to be vetted--every last one of them. They are truly an existential threat to the civilized world.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Dance Practice.)

Friday, September 16, 2016

More police officers commit suicide than die on duty

(Korean police kill themselves from time to time.)

Yesterday, I ate beef and French fries for dinner. The meal was terrific. I'm a huge fan of French fries. All that starch sends me straight to the moon. I washed the vittles down with several cans of Max beer. Max is nasty stuff. But the beer was free, so why complain?

I watched Champions League. Barcelona embarrassed Glasgow Celtic by the score of seven to nil. All the usual suspects managed to score. Messi led his team with a hat trick. But Suarez also had a masterful performance. He found the back of the net on two occasions. Barcelona is certainly a talented squad. However, Manchester City is currently the best team in the world--bar none. This could prove to be the most entertaining Champions League in human history.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to drink beer while appreciating the skill of Lionel Messi. In fact, life doesn't get any better than that. Sadly, a lot of people will never experience this joy. They spend their existence living in huts and drinking tainted water. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about Eunsol Bambino. She's my favorite K-pop artist. She's a wonderful dancer. We discussed her lack of decorum. Eunsol has been scolded publically for not wearing panties. I told her to cover up. But she refused to listen.

I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. More Korean police officers commit suicide than die on duty. I'm not surprised. The peninsula is often a well of sorrow. Koreans kill themselves at an alarming rate. This nation has a problem when it comes to mental illness. Most are too ashamed to see a psychiatrist, so they end up jumping out of windows. In my opinion, we need more young ladies like Eunsol to keep smiles on our faces.

I turned on CNN. Ford will soon move 2,800 jobs to Mexico to produce cars more cheaply. Trump is outraged. I'm outraged, too. These corporations show no sense of loyalty to their country. They only care about the bottom line. Donald wants to add a 35 percent tax on all automobiles coming in from overseas. He's a wise man. Like Trump, I'm a protectionist until the bitter end. America first, baby.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Here's a little Bambino to brighten your day.

(Eunsol Bambino is a wonderful dancer.)

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Chinese tourists arrested over attack on Korean restaurant owner

(Angry Chinese tourists are causing problems in Jeju.)

Yesterday, I had beef and rice for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of rice. The stuff comes with every meal. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles like the village retard. I'm wonderful that way. The glass is always half-full at my humble abode. I washed the food down with several large glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite beer in Korea. It's both smooth and delicious.

I watched the Pittsburgh Steelers play the Washington Redskins. Something suddenly occurred to me during the game. Ben Roethlisberger is a great quarterback. He'll definitely make the Hall of Fame on the first ballot. Sometimes, I forget how good Ben is because of talented men like Tom Brady and Drew Brees. Antonio Brown is no slouch, either. The two are really a great duo, and they still have a lot of time to win a couple of rings.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to drink beer while watching the Steelers. The team is an historic institution. Lot's of people aren't as lucky as me. They spend their lives toiling in the fields to put bread on the table. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Cambodia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about fishing. I had a pole in my hand, but I couldn't find a good spot to cast my line. So I just went home.

I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Eight Chinese tourists were arrested in Jeju for beating the shit out of several Koreans. The fight broke out in a restaurant. The owner didn't want the customers bringing outside alcoholic beverages into her establishment. They became so outraged that they kicked her in the head several times. The poor woman now has bleeding on the brain. Another Korean suffered facial fractures after being savagely beaten by the  mob.

I turned on CNN. A school in Washington state wants its teachers to wear Black Lives Matter t-shirts. I don't know what's happening to my country. The BLM is nothing more than a domestic terrorism organization dedicated to spreading racial violence and hate. And a lot of these teachers probably feel the same way I do. However, they'll wear the shirts for the sake of being politically correct. Refusing to act like a communist thug is career suicide in liberal America.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Please remember to avoid anal sex if humanly possible. It is both dirty and satanic. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Riding the Storm)

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Students angry at school order to 'stay inside' amid quakes

(Studying is very important in Korea.)

Yesterday, my mother-in-law took me to a restaurant for dinner. I had barbecue pork with all the trimmings. The meal was absolutely delicious. I'm a huge fan of pork. It's both cheap and delicious. I washed the vittles down with several bottles of Cass. Cass is my favorite brand of Korean beer. I can't get enough of the stuff.

I watched American football. The Packers took on the Jaguars. Both teams looked quite impressive. But Aaron Rogers is simply on another level. He completed several amazing passes which were damn near super-human. In fact, Aaron has the highest passer rating in the history of the NFL. And I can certainly see why. If yesterday was any indication of the future, then the Packers will give any team in the league a run for its money.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. It's nice to kick back and watch the NFL while enjoying a few beers. In fact, life doesn't get any better than that. A lot of people never experience this type of joy. They're too busy busting their humps to put bread on the table. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in northern Greenland.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Two powerful earthquakes hit Korea yesterday, and many students are angry because their teachers wouldn't let them go home. Instead, they had to stay in their classrooms and study. Academics are very important on the peninsula. Studying for university even trumps natural disasters.

I turned on CNN. Hillary is trying to implicate Colin Powell in her email scandal. She accused the general of having a private server when he was secretary of state. But Powell wants to stay above the fray. He said that he never advised Clinton on how to do her job. In fact, he claimed that he never speaks to the woman. Hillary is falling apart. I wonder if the powers-that-be will try to replace her with Joe Biden.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(The Joker)

Monday, September 12, 2016

Army plans to bombard North Korea with K-pop girl bands

(South Korea is sending Kpop to the North.)

Yesterday, I had sweet and sour pork for dinner. The food was delivered to my door by an old man on a moped. The meal was delicious. I'm a big fan of Chinese food. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of water. Sometimes, water is the only drink which truly quenches my thirst.

I watched the UFC. The fight of the night featured a contest between Stipe Miocic and Alistair Overreem. Stipe is the heavyweight champion of the world. The match was a wild affair. Both men hurt each other badly. Alistair clocked Stipe with a huge right hand, sending his opponent to the canvas. But Miocic is a tough son-of-a-bitch. He shook off the pain and retained his title by beating Overreem senseless.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's nice to watch the UFC while eating Chinese food. A lot of people don't get to experience this  type of joy. They live in the jungle and spend their lives eating roots and berries. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Malaysia.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 7 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The South Korean army plans to bombard North Korea with the music of K-pop girl bands. This is designed as a psychological attack against the oppressive northern government. The sound show also comes with images of pretty females singing and dancing. The North Koreans who live near the border will be able to see how the other half lives.

I turned on CNN. Hillary Clinton had to cut her 9/11 day activities short to visit the hospital. She has now been diagnosed with pneumonia. Hillary just doesn't look well. The campaign is certainly taking its toll on her body. She can't stop wheezing and coughing. Nor can she climb stairs. The debates are right around the corner. Will the moderators let her sit in a wheelchair? 

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Uncle Remus)

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Not so holier than thou: religious leader crimes top 5,000 a year

(Some religious leaders are criminal.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a restaurant. We ate fifteen dollars worth of fried chicken. The poultry was very spicy. It was smothered in mustard sauce. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite beer in Korea. It's both smooth and delicious.

I finished watching Narcos. Pablo Escobar is mortally wounded by the Columbian police. His breathing is shallow, and he's bleeding to death on a rooftop. An officer stands above his body and shoots him in the head. Then everybody takes a photo with his lifeless corpse. Smiles abound. Narcos is one of the greatest shows in the history of television. Missing it would be a sin.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. I also asked Jesus to let me live for another eighteen-years. I want to give my kids a good start in life. After that, he's free to zap me with ass cancer.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about having coitus with a girl I knew back in the day. The dream was very realistic. I almost cried when the alarm sounded.

I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Korean religious leaders have committed more than 5,000 crimes this year. I'm not surprised. Korean society gives these men a lot of power. Plus they can start new churches with different names after they get busted. Running a church is a great cash business. It's ripe for abuse.

I turned on CNN. Hillary Clinton stuck her foot in her mouth. She called half of Trump's supporters a bunch of mutants, accusing them of both racism and homophobia. She's now walking back her statement. I don't agree with her assessment. Lots of people are voting for The Donald simply because they don't want another Bush or Clinton in the White House. And I agree wholeheartedly. After all, Trump can't be any worse than the jerks we've had in the past.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Emotional Rescue)

Friday, September 9, 2016

Man throws hot ramen at 'disrespectful' clerk

(Noodles can be deadly.)

Yesterday, I had song-gay-tong for dinner. Translation? Salty chicken soup with rice and ginseng. The meal was absolutely delicious. My wife excels at all things feminine. She's the Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of water. Sometimes, water is the only drink which will truly quench my thirst.

I watched The Ultimate Fighter. It's the most compelling show on television. The match of the night featured a bout between Zulu and Hiromasa. Zulu has an excellent stand-up game whereas Hiromasa is more of a wrestler and jujitsu guy. Anyway, the contest didn't last long. Hiro submitted his opponent with a rear naked choke in the second round.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to watch The Ultimate Fighter while relaxing on my sofa. Sadly, a lot of people will never experience this joy. They live in hovels without electricity and spend their nights feasting on monkey brains. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Indonesia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about smoking a cigarette outside a supermarket during the middle of winter. The parking lot was coated with ice. I felt cold and alone. I dream a lot about tobacco. I haven't had a cigarette in years, but I miss the nicotine.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A man from Seoul went to a convenience store and didn't know how to use the microwave. He asked the clerk for help, but the clerk ignored the customer. So the man threw boiling hot noodles on the clerk's face, giving him second-degree burns. The case has been turned over to the prosecutor's office.

I turned on CNN. Gary Johnson is running for president as the nominee of the Libertarian Party. He's just a hair away from qualifying for the debates. He needs ten percent, and he's stuck at seven. However, he delivered a disastrous performance during a recent interview at MSNBC. Gary had no idea what Aleppo was. All the talking heads practically laughed him out of the studio. I have zero love for Johnson. He's just another stooge.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Shock the Monkey with Ozzy)

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Woman accused of sharing photos of sexual disease patients on Instagram

(Instagram can be used for evil.)

Yesterday, I had chicken sandwiches and potato chips for dinner. The poultry was smothered in barbecue sauce. It tasted excellent. My wife is a wonderful cook. She's the Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite beer in Korea. It's both smooth and delicious.

I watched the World Cup qualifier between Sweden and the Netherlands. Zlatan no longer plays for Sweden. So now the club depends on Marcus Berg for offense. Berg managed to score a goal in the 30th minute to give his team the lead at halftime. However, Wesley Sneijder equalized in the 60th minute. The match ended in a 1-1 draw.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's nice to drink beer while watching football on the sofa. Unfortunately, a lot of people have never experienced this joy. They're too busy toiling in the fields. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Tanzania.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A woman posted pictures of fifty men on Instagram and told the world that these unfortunate souls were suffering from venereal disease. But everything she said was a lie. She did it to humiliate them. Korea has strict liable and slander laws. Therefore, she'll have to pay a hefty fine.

I turned on CNN. Trump says that he wants to leave defeating ISIS to the generals. I couldn't agree more. America hasn't won a war in over seventy years because politicians fancy themselves as military experts. Donald also believes that the world was better off with Saddam leading Iraq by the nose. Again, I concur. By removing the dictator, we ignited an Islamic civil war. Trump's a pragmatist. I like pragmatists. They keep the trains running on time.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Up On Cripple Creek)

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

First comfort women statue to be erected in Europe

(A comfort women statue will be erected in Germany.)

Yesterday, I had chicken and French fries for dinner. The meal was delicious. My wife excels in all things feminine. She's the Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I get my cola at Emart. Each bottle costs less than one American dollar. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched the UFC. The fight of the night featured Andrei Arlovski vs. Josh Barnett. During the first round, both men threw an endless flurry of bombs. They beat the shit out of each other for the full five minutes. But Barnett simply had more skills on the ground than his bewildered opponent. Josh submitted Arlovski in the third round with a rear naked choke hold. I'm a huge fan of the UFC. All that violence sends me straight to the moon.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to watch the UFC while relaxing on the sofa. A lot of people aren't as lucky as me. They live in huts and drink dirty water. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the South Sudan.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about smoking cigarettes at the train station. I was afraid that someone might catch me. I asked a man for the time. He said, "It's half-past a monkey's ass, a quarter to his balls." I laughed and laughed and laughed.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A comfort women statue will soon be erected in Germany. The Koreans are still pissed at the Japanese for turning their women into whores during the Second World War. The ROK government now erects statues in many countries around the globe so that the plight of the sexually exploited will never be forgotten.

I turned on CNN. Trump's currently ahead of Clinton in the latest CNN national poll. He's beating her by two points. Donald's getting a lot of support amongst independent voters. Meanwhile, Hillary looks as appealing as burnt toast. The woman's drowning in scandal after scandal. On top of that, she just doesn't seem healthy. Her coughing fits are very alarming, and she can barely make it up a small staircase without assistance. The debates will certainly be interesting. Will that old hen be able to stand for nearly two hours? I don't think so. But what do I know?

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Shobiz Kids)

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Foreigners blamed for Jeju crime wave

(Xenophobia is often a big global headache.)

Yesterday, I had beef and rice for dinner. I'm not a big fan of rice. The stuff comes with every meal. But I didn't complain. I just ate my vittles with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I'm wonderful that way. The glass is always half-full at my humble abode. I washed the food down with several glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite beer in Korea. It's both smooth and delicious.

I watched the World Cup qualifier between England and Slovakia. I always root against the English because they take football way too seriously. It's fun to see them cry like women when they lose. Last night was a close affair. Unfortunately, England managed to eek out a 1-0 victory. But the squad looks weak. Slovakia was down to ten men and almost managed a draw. I anticipate a lot of English tears in the future. 

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's nice to watch football while drinking lots of beer. Life doesn't get much better than that. But lots of people aren't as fortunate as me. They're too busy laboring in the fields. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Bangladesh.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about eating at Popeye's Chicken. A black guy tried to kill me with a knife.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Supposedly, there's a crime wave on the Korean island of Jeju. The police are blaming the lawlessness on foreigners. Most of the infractions are being committed by Chinese immigrants. I take this story with a grain of salt. Koreans hate foreigners. They always have, and they always will. Sadly, we get blamed for all their woes.

I turned on CNN. The president of the Philippines is named Rodrigo Duterte. He's cracking down on drug pushers big time. Many Filipino dealers are being killed extra-judicially by government-sponsored death squads. Obama criticized Duterte for his tough stance on crime. Duterte responded by calling Obama a son-of-a-whore. I've always been fascinated by fascists. They keep the trains running on time.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody.  Enjoy the song of the day.

(Video Killed the Radio Star)

Monday, September 5, 2016

4 found dead in apparent joint suicide in Ansan, Korea

(Four people commit suicide in Ansan.)

Yesterday, I had chicken sandwiches and potato chips for dinner. The meal was delicious. My wife is the Asian Martha Stewart. She excels in all things feminine. I washed the vittles down with a big plastic bottle of water. Sometimes, water is the only thing that truly quenches my thirst. It's important to remain hydrated.

I watched the game between the LSU Tigers and the Wisconsin Badgers. It was held in historic Lambeau Field. LSU's best player is Leonard Fourcette. He's supposed to win the Heisman Trophy this year. He had decent results against the stingy Badger defense. Fourcette managed 138 yards on 23 carries. Not too shabby. But the Tiger's lost 16-14 because their quarterback sucks ass. Brandon Harris has zero talent at the position. He better hit the books because his odds of playing in the NFL are pretty slim.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's wonderful to relax in bed while watching college football. And God has granted me the wisdom not to take these games too seriously. All of the players are young enough to be my children, so I don't curse at them or call them dirty names. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Ivory Coast.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Four Koreans from Ansan were found hanging in an office building with plastic bags around their heads. The police think it was a suicide pact. Lots of Koreans kill themselves every year. In fact, the peninsula is the suicide capitol of the world. The citizens aren't allowed to own guns, so most commit the deed by jumping out of windows.

I turned on CNN. An eleven-year-old boy named Jacob Wetterling went missing twenty-seven years after being abducted by a pervert. The police discovered his remains today. He will be taken to his family for an official burial. It's nice that his parents get a sense of closure. I'm sure it means a lot to them. Unfortunately, the culprit was never apprehended. If I were king of the world, I'd round up the usual subjects and have them decapitated in the town square.  But nobody listens to me.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Go Your Own Way)

Sunday, September 4, 2016

'Gray' crime wave looms in Korea

(Oldsters are committing lots of crimes in Korea.)

Yesterday, I had shrimp fried rice for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of rice. The stuff comes with every meal. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles like the village retard. I'm wonderful that way. The glass is always half-full at my humble abode. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched several episodes of Narcos. This Netflix original is currently the best show on television. A right-wing paramilitary group known as Los Pepes joins forces with the Cali Cartel. Together, they hunt down Pablo Escobar, killing his men without mercy. They often pose the bodies in public to terrorize Pablo's followers. Escobar gets revenge by placing powerful bombs all over Columbia. Narcos is a true work of art. Missing it would be a sin.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's nice to live in a country that isn't controlled by drug lords and terrorists. Lots of people can't make this boast. They live fearfully, wondering if they'll get their heads chopped off by the local drug cartel. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Mexico.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I was viewing pornography on the television. I'm not a big porno guy--which is fortuitous since smut is illegal in South Korea.

I woke up at 7 p.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Nearly ten percent of all crime in Korea is committed by people who are over sixty-years-old. I find this stat astonishing. And many of these infractions are very violent. For instance, an eighty-year-old man was recently arrested for stabbing two of his friends in a coffee shop. I never argue with elderly Koreans. They give me the creeps.

I turned on CNN. The network absolutely despises all things Donald Trump. For example, they crucified him this morning for going to a black church in Detroit in an effort to gain minority votes. However, they crucified him last week for not speaking directly to a black audience when he asked for African-American support. Now matter what Trump does, CNN finds a way to shit on it. The channel is run by liberal Kool-Aid drinkers.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Would You Lay With Me.)

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Man nabbed for masturbating at women's university

(A pervert was arrested in Seoul.)

Yesterday, I went to McDonald's for dinner. I had a Big Mac and a large order of French fries. The meal was delicious. I'm a huge fan of junk-food. All that starch sends me straight to the moon. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of genuine Coca-Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so usually I only drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

I watched an episode of The Ultimate Fighter. It's the most compelling show on television. This season features 126-pounders from around the world vying for a chance to challenge UFC champion Demetrious Johnson. Good luck with that. Demetrious is arguably the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. The first episode is very entertaining. It features Alex from Brazil vs. Brandon from Mexico. They beat each other to a pulp over two rounds. Finally, Alex wins via submission.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, both my children are healthy and happy. Plus they get enough to eat. Lots of people can't make this boast. Unfortunately, they live in hovels and die of dysentery. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Malawi.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I defecated in the middle of Burger King. The customers were nonplussed to say the least. They found my actions reprehensible. I smiled at them like a grinning retard.

I woke up at 8 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A man from Seoul visited a women's university. For some strange reason, he took off his pants and began to masturbate in public. He was subsequently nabbed by a security guard who called the police. The pervert was arrested and admitted his guilt.

I turned on CNN. The Clinton campaign is facing a new headache. It seems that Hillary transferred all of her emails to a laptop and a thumb-drive. Both of these items were then lost in the actual mail. Consequently, the powers-that-be have no idea who possesses the state department's classified information. Hillary's mind isn't functioning on all cylinders. The woman is a menace.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(You and I)

Friday, September 2, 2016

Two Koreans arrested for falsely outing sex workers on Instagram

(Two Koreans use Instagram for evil.)

Yesterday, I had shrimp fajitas for dinner. The meal was delicious. My wife is the shrimp fajita queen. In fact, she excels at all things feminine. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I get our cola at Emart for a dollar a bottle. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched another episode of Wayward Pines. The abnormals burn the food supplies with torches. After that, they surround the village and start howling at the massive electric fence. It turns out that the male abnormals have very low intelligence. However, the female abnormals are complete geniuses who are much smarter than humans. They control their low-functioning male counterparts with mind-control. I really like Wayward Pines, but I'm starved for entertainment.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's a lot of fun to watch Wayward Pines while lying in bed. Plus last night's breeze felt delightful as it came through my window. A lot of people aren't as lucky as me. They spend their lives toiling to put food on the table. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Ukraine.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I was riding in a van with several of my friends. They kept on telling me to divorce my wife so that I could join them for nightly hi-jinx.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Two Koreans were arrested for spreading false rumors over Instagram. They took pictures of ordinary folk, posted them on line, and claimed that the people in the photos were actually sex workers. Naturally, these innocent citizens became quite upset after being approached for coitus on several occasions by total strangers. Some are so mortified that they are seeking psychological help.

I turned on CNN. Donald Trump was crucified by Wolf Blitzer for his latest immigration speech. The Donald says that no amnesty shall be given for any illegal. If someone wants to have a green-card, then he must go back to his own country and wait in line. Furthermore, illegals who have committed crimes on American soil should be deported immediately. Lastly, a wall will be built along the border, and Mexico shall pay for it. I love these policies. For the life me, I just can't understand all of the hub-bub.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Cross-Eyed Mary)
 

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Top court confirms jail term for professor who forced student to eat feces

(Professor forces student to eat shit.)

Yesterday, I had beef and rice for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of rice. The stuff comes with every meal. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles like a grinning retard. I'm wonderful that way. The glass is always half-full at my humble abode. I washed the food down with several glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite beer in Korea. It's both smooth and delicious.

I watched an old fight between Jon Bones Jones and Daniel Cormier. Bones is the badest man on the planet. He dominated Cormier in every aspect of the bout. However, what surprised me the most was the way Jon wrestled. Cormier's a former Olympic grappler, but Jones threw him around like a little rag-doll. Impressive stuff. I love the UFC. All that blood sends me straight to the moon.

(Jon Jones is an American bad-ass.)

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy nihilist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's nice to watch the UFC while drinking copious amounts of beer. How much better can existence actually get? Unfortunately, not a lot of people are as lucky as me. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Saudi Arabia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that my mother came to visit me. She sang K-pop tunes with my wife. I laughed and laughed.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean professor was sentenced to eight years in prison for being mean to his graduate assistant. He often beat the poor kid with a bat and zapped him from time to time with pepper spray. And if that weren't enough, he actually made the unfortunate man eat human shit. This outrageous behavior lasted for nearly two years.

I turned on CNN. Gun violence in Chicago is getting out of control. 425 people have been shot and killed since January. The vast majority of the homicides are black people murdering each other. But nobody's allowed to say this, or they'll be labelled a racist. What the African-American community needs is Donald Trump. Obama's a sell-out who did nothing to bring jobs to our glorious shores. And Hillary is created in his liberal elitist mold. It's time to give somebody else a chance.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Ben Bernanke)