Monday, September 5, 2016

4 found dead in apparent joint suicide in Ansan, Korea

(Four people commit suicide in Ansan.)

Yesterday, I had chicken sandwiches and potato chips for dinner. The meal was delicious. My wife is the Asian Martha Stewart. She excels in all things feminine. I washed the vittles down with a big plastic bottle of water. Sometimes, water is the only thing that truly quenches my thirst. It's important to remain hydrated.

I watched the game between the LSU Tigers and the Wisconsin Badgers. It was held in historic Lambeau Field. LSU's best player is Leonard Fourcette. He's supposed to win the Heisman Trophy this year. He had decent results against the stingy Badger defense. Fourcette managed 138 yards on 23 carries. Not too shabby. But the Tiger's lost 16-14 because their quarterback sucks ass. Brandon Harris has zero talent at the position. He better hit the books because his odds of playing in the NFL are pretty slim.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's wonderful to relax in bed while watching college football. And God has granted me the wisdom not to take these games too seriously. All of the players are young enough to be my children, so I don't curse at them or call them dirty names. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Ivory Coast.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Four Koreans from Ansan were found hanging in an office building with plastic bags around their heads. The police think it was a suicide pact. Lots of Koreans kill themselves every year. In fact, the peninsula is the suicide capitol of the world. The citizens aren't allowed to own guns, so most commit the deed by jumping out of windows.

I turned on CNN. An eleven-year-old boy named Jacob Wetterling went missing twenty-seven years after being abducted by a pervert. The police discovered his remains today. He will be taken to his family for an official burial. It's nice that his parents get a sense of closure. I'm sure it means a lot to them. Unfortunately, the culprit was never apprehended. If I were king of the world, I'd round up the usual subjects and have them decapitated in the town square.  But nobody listens to me.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Go Your Own Way)

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