Saturday, September 3, 2016

Man nabbed for masturbating at women's university

(A pervert was arrested in Seoul.)

Yesterday, I went to McDonald's for dinner. I had a Big Mac and a large order of French fries. The meal was delicious. I'm a huge fan of junk-food. All that starch sends me straight to the moon. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of genuine Coca-Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so usually I only drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

I watched an episode of The Ultimate Fighter. It's the most compelling show on television. This season features 126-pounders from around the world vying for a chance to challenge UFC champion Demetrious Johnson. Good luck with that. Demetrious is arguably the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. The first episode is very entertaining. It features Alex from Brazil vs. Brandon from Mexico. They beat each other to a pulp over two rounds. Finally, Alex wins via submission.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, both my children are healthy and happy. Plus they get enough to eat. Lots of people can't make this boast. Unfortunately, they live in hovels and die of dysentery. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Malawi.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I defecated in the middle of Burger King. The customers were nonplussed to say the least. They found my actions reprehensible. I smiled at them like a grinning retard.

I woke up at 8 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A man from Seoul visited a women's university. For some strange reason, he took off his pants and began to masturbate in public. He was subsequently nabbed by a security guard who called the police. The pervert was arrested and admitted his guilt.

I turned on CNN. The Clinton campaign is facing a new headache. It seems that Hillary transferred all of her emails to a laptop and a thumb-drive. Both of these items were then lost in the actual mail. Consequently, the powers-that-be have no idea who possesses the state department's classified information. Hillary's mind isn't functioning on all cylinders. The woman is a menace.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(You and I)

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