Friday, September 9, 2016

Man throws hot ramen at 'disrespectful' clerk

(Noodles can be deadly.)

Yesterday, I had song-gay-tong for dinner. Translation? Salty chicken soup with rice and ginseng. The meal was absolutely delicious. My wife excels at all things feminine. She's the Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of water. Sometimes, water is the only drink which will truly quench my thirst.

I watched The Ultimate Fighter. It's the most compelling show on television. The match of the night featured a bout between Zulu and Hiromasa. Zulu has an excellent stand-up game whereas Hiromasa is more of a wrestler and jujitsu guy. Anyway, the contest didn't last long. Hiro submitted his opponent with a rear naked choke in the second round.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to watch The Ultimate Fighter while relaxing on my sofa. Sadly, a lot of people will never experience this joy. They live in hovels without electricity and spend their nights feasting on monkey brains. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Indonesia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about smoking a cigarette outside a supermarket during the middle of winter. The parking lot was coated with ice. I felt cold and alone. I dream a lot about tobacco. I haven't had a cigarette in years, but I miss the nicotine.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A man from Seoul went to a convenience store and didn't know how to use the microwave. He asked the clerk for help, but the clerk ignored the customer. So the man threw boiling hot noodles on the clerk's face, giving him second-degree burns. The case has been turned over to the prosecutor's office.

I turned on CNN. Gary Johnson is running for president as the nominee of the Libertarian Party. He's just a hair away from qualifying for the debates. He needs ten percent, and he's stuck at seven. However, he delivered a disastrous performance during a recent interview at MSNBC. Gary had no idea what Aleppo was. All the talking heads practically laughed him out of the studio. I have zero love for Johnson. He's just another stooge.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Shock the Monkey with Ozzy)

No comments:

Post a Comment