Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Man convicted of having body tattooed to dodge military service

(Koreans don't like body ink.)

Yesterday, I had chicken for dinner. I cooked the bird using generous amounts of grease and salt. The meal was wonderful. It came out all hot and crisp and delicious. I'm a gifted cook, and poultry is my specialty. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of Cham soju. I also drank several large glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite brand of Korean beer. It's both smooth and tasty.

I watched an episode of Westworld. It turns out that the black guy named Bernard is actually an android. I am still in shock. He seems so normal. Bernard's maker orders him to murder a middle aged woman. He complies without question, bashing her brains in against a wall. He later feels a great deal of guilt about his crime. But his maker washes away his memories. Westworld is a lot of fun. It comes with my highest recommendation.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to get drunk while watching television. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They don't even have electricity or running water. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about Conor McGregor. He took me to a pub in Belfast. However, the owner refused to serve me. He told me that I drink too much. I left the establishment in a huff.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean man had his body covered in tattoos in order to avoid mandatory service in the military. Many Koreans are afraid of body ink. They find it repulsive. A judge sentenced him to prison for a period of one year. Seems a bit harsh to me. I often wonder if South Korea is actually a democracy. Koreans certainly don't enjoy the same freedoms as Americans.

I turned on Fox News. An angry Muslim committed an act of terrorism at Ohio State University. This young man drove his car into a crowd. After that, he started stabbing people with a butcher knife. Luckily, a fast-thinking policeman shot and killed the twisted bastard. It turns out that he was from Somalia and spent several years in Pakistan before coming to my nation. I'm with President Trump. We need to vet these punks.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Ronnie James Dio)

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