Saturday, July 15, 2017

Farewell


Hello, my friends. I've decided to take a job in China, and I'll be leaving Korea on August 21st. With that said, there is no point in having a blog called Eating Dog In Korea if I don't live in Korea. Therefore, I started a new blog called Eating Dog In China. Stop by and visit. Thanks. See you there. 

United States airman accused of rape in Osan

(An American airman stands accused of raping a Korean woman.)

Yesterday, I had chicken and French fries for dinner. The meal was very good. The fries were hot and crisp and salty--just the way I like them. My wife's a wonderful cook. She excels in all things feminine. She's a regular Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I read the internet news from China. Several men were busted for fraud. They sold a so-called porno app to many unsuspecting dupes. When the victims purchased the technology, they soon discovered it was a big zero. No filth, no smut, no nothing. The culprits made millions of dollars with this scam. They will now spend the next several years in jail for their dishonesty. Porn is big money. In fact, watching strangers fornicate is very popular across the globe. Here's the link.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to eat French fries and drink cola in the comfort of my own home. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They spend their days scavenging through garbage dumps in order to find food. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 7 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A United States airman stands accused of raping a Korean woman. She was drunk when he took her to a hotel room for coitus. As a father with sons, this story scares me. Having sex with an inebriated woman is now seen as sexual assault. Political correctness has officially run amok. It's best for a young man to keep it in his pants until he finds a sexual partner whom he can trust. Here's the link.

(Be careful out there.)

I turned on Fox News. Donald Trump Jr. met with a Russian lawyer in order to dig up dirt on Hillary Clinton. His meeting was certainly unseemly, but it doesn't constitute a crime. The democrats are guilty of the same shit. They met with the Ukrainians to discredit Trump. I'm a huge fan of The Donald. I like his travel ban and his stance on fair trade. I also want to build a wall across the Mexican border. Maybe I'm a pig.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Feel free to join me on Reddit. Cheers.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

How to get a Chinese Z-visa while living in Korea

(Have no fear. You can get a Z-visa while living in Korea.)

Getting a Z-visa for employment in China can often be a complete pain in the ass. And its even more frustrating getting the visa while living in Korea. Some people will even tell you that you must first fly home in order to get the paperwork done.

Well, they're wrong. You can accomplish this daunting task right here on the peninsula. First, you should contact a company named Biztrans.  The phone number for Biztrans is 02-7331-135. If you don't speak Korean, don't bother trying. Instead, have one of your many Korean friends make the call on your behalf.

There's another option. The email for Biztrans is biztrans11@daum.net. The service is both prompt and professional. The first thing they will ask for is a scanned copy of your degree and teaching certificate (if applicable). They'll proceed to get the documents authenticated in the United States for a fee. My buddy paid 550,000 won to get his degree and certificate authenticated. It's not cheap, but it beats hopping on a plane to get the stuff done.

You will also need a criminal background check. You can get that done from here on the peninsula, too. Go to your local Korean cop-shop and ask for a background check for an overseas stay or foreign permission. The regular background check just won't cut it. This can take anywhere from 2 to 5 business days. Again, for better service, bring a Korean friend. Send the document to Biztrans, and they will get it authenticated by the Chinese Embassy in Seoul.

All the hard stuff is over. The rest of the process should go very smoothly--depending on your employer.

Have a wonderful day, and God bless. If you find this post helpful, please leave a comment. Cheers.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Scrapping HIV test for native English teachers 'unacceptable'

(Most Koreans don't like homosexuals.)

Yesterday, I had beef fajitas for dinner. The meal was quite good. My wife is the beef fajita queen. She's a wonderful cook. In fact, she excels in all things feminine. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I read the news from China. Five people from the Shanghai neighborhood of Pudang were caught selling expired olive oil. The Italian companies sent these folks new expiration labels. The criminals had ten thousand bottles of the stuff. If they had managed to sell all of their stock, they would have made more than a million dollars. Life is filled with temptations. Sometimes, these sins are hard to resist. It's difficult to say no to a million bucks. Here's the link.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's nice to eat beef in the comfort of my apartment. It's also fun to drink cheap cola. Sadly, many people will never experience this type of joy. They slake their thirst with malaria-ridden water and feast on the carcasses of dead hippos. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Central African Republic.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean Christian group is angry that English teachers are no longer being tested for HIV. These people feel that westerners are a little bit lax in policing homosexuality. They want to protect Koreans by deporting anybody who tests positive for the virus. Here's the link.

I turned on Fox News. Donald Trump Jr. stands accused by the liberal media of fraternizing with the Russians. It's the same old story, same old song and dance. The elites just can't handle the fact that a populist won the White House. And let me tell you something else. If they run a loser like Elizabeth Warren in 2020, he'll probably win again. They have nobody but themselves to blame.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Feel free to join me at Reddit. Cheers.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Dog mauls 78-year-old owner to death

(A vicious dog kills an old lady from Seoul.)

Yesterday, I took my family to dinner. We had barbecue pork with all the fixings--sauteed onions, Chinese mushrooms, kimchi, etc. The meal was wonderful. I enjoy going to restaurants in Korea. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju. I also drank a large bottle of beer. I became quite drunk. A good time was had by all.

I read the internet news. The Chinese government is cracking down on the LGBT community. All homosexual-related stories over the internet are officially banned. The powers-that-be are doing this to protect the people from depraved forms of sex. Their words, not mine. I don't agree with gay marriage or homosexual adoption. But this type of extreme censorship is a bit much. On this issue, the Chinese government needs to take a flying screw at a rolling donut. Big Brother shouldn't tell us what to read or watch. Here's the link.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to have the money to eat meat every now and then. It's also fun to get drunk on soju. Lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They're so poor that they use their hands as toilet paper. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Philippines.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A 78-year-old woman from Seoul was killed by her pet dog. The beast weighed over 40 pounds. She simply didn't have the physical ability to fight the animal off. The powers-that-be immediately put the canine to sleep. The government has now decided to strengthen the current leash laws. Here's the link.

I turned on CNBC and watched Meet the Press. Both the democrats and the republicans are angry that Trump wasn't tougher on Putin at the recent G20 meeting in Hamburg, Germany. They keep floating this false narrative that the president was elected because of Russian interference. Here's what I believe. President Trump is a gift from God. Internationally, our relationship with China and Russia will improve vastly, which will help with the issue of world peace. Domestically, it's only a matter of time before the disgraceful Roe v. Wade is overturned. What's not to love?

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Feel free to join me on Reddit. Cheers.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Kpop idols are receiving death threats

(An internet poster threatens to massacre the popluar group Apink with a knife.)

Yesterday, I had leftover gumbo for dinner. The food was fantastic. It was prepared with shrimp, sausage, and potatoes. The sauce was both hot and flavorful. My wife's a fantastic cook. She excels in all things feminine. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff. The entire experience was magical.

I read the latest online news. There's an orthodox Jewish school in England called Vishnitz. The academy caters to young girls ages three through eight. Vishnitz received a failing grade from the English government. Why? They refused to teach their students about homosexuality and gender reassignment. A talking head claimed that Vishnitz's actions are against British values. This loser needs to go take a flying screw at a rolling donut. Who instructs toddlers on the topic of sodomy? Have we really come to this point in Western culture? Here's the link.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty misanthrope. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's nice to eat gumbo in my comfortable apartment. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They come from backward nations where shellfish and pork are frowned upon. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Saudi Arabia.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I dreamt about Conor McGregor. He acted poorly at a press conference, and Dana White made him apologize in public.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Disturbed internet users are threatening to murder famous Kpop idols. For instance, one man threatened to massacre the popular girl band Apink with a knife. The police had to send protection to the group's rehearsals. It gets worse. An ultra-nationalist Korean promised to stab a Japanese singer named Mina because he doesn't want her in his country. Here's the link.

I turned on Fox News. The talking heads believe that the United States will simply have to deal with a nuclear North Korea the same way it dealt with a nuclear China back in the day--which means bringing the reclusive state in from the cold. I agree. America simply doesn't have the juice to stop the regime from acquiring the weapons. The Russians and the Chinese don't give a flying screw, and without their pressure, the situation is hopeless. But what do I know?

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Join me at Reddit. Cheers.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Gangnam-gu removes 27 illegal brothels

(Seoul closes 27 illegal brothels.)

Yesterday, my wife made chicken soup for dinner. The poultry was served in a broth filled with rice and ginseng. It tasted great. The woman is a wonderful cook. She's a regular Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched CNN. A thirteen-year-old girl named Shavon Randle got caught up in a drug theft. The boyfriend of one of her relatives stole twenty-two pounds of marijuana from a Dallas drug dealer. The dealer kidnapped Shavon and murdered her. He also killed an unnamed 19-year-old boy. The murderer and his accomplice are now in police custody. If I were king of the world, I'd have both of these assholes burned at the stake. It's a good thing that nobody listens to me.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to watch television in the comfort of my own apartment. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They live in the deep dark jungle and have no access to electricity. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Guatemala.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The powers-that-be in Seoul removed 27 whorehouses in the exclusive neighborhood of Gagnam. The brothels are too close to schools and residential areas. Prostitution is supposedly illegal on the peninsula. But you can't walk ten feet without spotting a bordello. Here's the link.

I turned on Fox News. Trump has once again set the world on fire with his Twitter account. His comments about Mika the idiot and Joe the psycho weren't enough. Now he Tweeted a video of himself beating a man with a CNN logo super-imposed over his head. The media is claiming that Trump is inciting violence against them. They are also accusing my president of being anti-Semitic. I don't get it. The guy's daughter is a Jew. There's nothing anti-Semitic about the man.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Don't forget to join me on Reddit. Cheers.

Monday, July 3, 2017

Thai students 'molested, exploited' during internships in South Korea: report

(Several Thai interns claim that they were harassed.)

Yesterday, my wife made Louisiana-style gumbo from scratch. It came with shrimp, potatoes, and sausage. The meal was damn good. She worked in the kitchen for nearly six hours. My wife excels in all things feminine. She's a regular Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I read the Chinese news. A 60-year-old man from Shanghai named Xue stole 15 kilos of crawfish from a local eatery. This isn't the first time the old bugger has been caught stealing food. He's a one man crime wave. The crawfish are valued at over $100. I cannot tell a lie. I love eating mudbugs. If Xue had invited me to feast on the stolen shellfish, I would have gladly participated. I consume crayfish like a real man. I always suck the brains right out of their heads. Here's the link.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy nihilist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, my apartment is hot these days, but not unbearable. Plus I'm well-fed and chubby. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They spend their days living in huts with tin roofs. They bake during the daytime and freeze when the sun goes down. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in an Indian slum.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that my wife murdered both my children. She committed the murders with a spear. The nightmare was very realistic. I shook like a leaf.

I woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Eight Thai students claim that they were molested and exploited by their South Korean hosts. The girls said that they were kissed and touched on their thighs. The boys, meanwhile, stated that they were forced to work from dusk till dawn at various grueling tasks throughout the hot days. The powers-that-be are currently investigating the matter. Here's the link. 

I turned on Fox News. A 28-year-old man from Pennsylvania named David Desper got cut off in traffic. He became enraged and took out his .40 pistol. He then proceeded to shoot the young woman who had offended him with her driving. Her name was Bianca Roberson. The bullet hit the poor 18-year-old girl right in the head. She died instantly. Mr. Desper is now in custody. Let's hope that the authorities deal with this loon harshly.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Join me a Reddit. Cheers.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

WANTED: Suspects of 'golf driving range' murder

(There was a brutal murder in Changwon.)

Yesterday, I took my family to dinner. We went to a chicken restaurant. I like chicken a great deal. It is both inexpensive and delicious. We ate lots and lots of fried poultry. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju. I also helped my wife drink a pitcher of beer. I became quite drunk. A good time was had by all.

I read the Chinese news. A street magician from Chengdu kept asking attractive ladies to participate in one of his tricks. He proceeded to fondle their breasts while attempting to balance a coin. His friend recorded all the mischief on a smart phone. He then unwisely uploaded the video. The police detained the man for questioning. The culprit eventually apologized to all of mainland China over his Weibo account. Here's the link.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessing upon my life. For instance, I haven't been sexually assaulted by a naughty street performer. That's certainly a boon. Furthermore, it's nice to bring the family to a restaurant from time to time. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They spend their days eating fried tarantulas. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Amazon Rain Forrest.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A 47-year-old woman from Changwon decided to spend her evening hitting golf balls at a local driving range. Three men abducted and murdered her. They stuffed her corpse in a bag and placed it under the Jinsu Bridge in Jinju. The powers-that-be are currently investigating the matter. Here's the link.

I turned on Fox News. President Trump gave a rousing speech to many war veterans in order to celebrate the upcoming Independence Day. He thanked them for their service. It was nice to see. Unlike President Obama, Big Don actually loves the United States of America. Trump also promised to build the wall and listen to his generals in matters of war. I love the man. To all the Trump-haters, I have just one thing to say. Go take a flying screw at a rolling donut.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Please subscribe to my Reddit account. Cheers.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

The psychology of public masturbation

(Too many people are masturbating in public.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a restaurant. This particular establishment features an all-you-can-eat pork barbecue. All of the side dishes are included, too. Onions. Chinese mushrooms. Kimchi. The food was excellent. I stuffed myself like a pig, and the juice from the meat dripped down my fat chin. I drank two bottles of soju and a large bottle of beer with the vittles. I got quite drunk. A good time was had by all.

I read some Chinese news. A taxi driver from Dalian picked up four college girls looking for a ride into town. They fell asleep on the journey. The cabbie proceeded to use his cellphone to take dirty pictures and videos of the young women. He also stands accused of feeling them up. The victims refused to pay for the trip and reported this pervert to the proper authorities. This story is big news on the mainland. Here's the link.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, I've never been sexually assaulted by a horny cab driver. That's certainly a plus. Furthermore, it's nice to eat meat from time to time. Sadly, lot's of people will never experience this type of joy. They spend their days picking through the trash in order to find their next meal. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that my wife got into a car accident. She could no longer speak. I'm not sure if I was happy or sad.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Several Koreans have been apprehended for public masturbation over the last few years. Two were police officers, one was a professional baseball player, and another was a powerful attorney from the island of Jeju. Experts are blaming this epidemic on porn. They claim that men are simply having too many sexual fantasies because of the internet. Here's the link.

I turned on Fox News. Tucker Carlson spoke about a dog festival in mainland China. More than 10,000 canines were slaughtered so that Chinese men could eat the meat and have better erections. Mr. Carlson was outraged. He called the festival barbaric. His major beef with the celebration is that the dogs were tortured before being killed. I stay out of the dog meat debate. Different strokes for different folks.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Friday, June 30, 2017

Native English teacher accused of kissing students

(A native English teacher got caught kissing the students.)

Yesterday, I took my wife to a restaurant. We went to a place called Dang Dang Chicken. We ate fried bird and spicy rice cake. The meal was damn good. I'm a huge fan of poultry. It's both inexpensive and delicious. I washed the meal down with two bottles of soju and a pitcher of beer. I became quite drunk. A good time was had by all.

I read the news from China. A young boy suffering from polio was forced to eat shit in a public school restroom. His bullies caught the moment on video tape. They uploaded their atrocious act onto the internet. Beijing is abuzz because of  this criminal behavior. The citizens are demanding blood for such an outrageous act. But the powers-that-be are cutting the boys slack due to their young age. If I were king of the world, I'd have them savagely caned in the public square. It's a good thing that nobody listens to me. Here's the link.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty nihilist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, I wasn't forced to eat fecal matter when I was a child. Plus it's great to bring the wife out for a meal now and then. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They're so poor that they use their hands for toilet paper. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Laos.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A native English teacher was hired by a school in rural South Korea. He started kissing the students because he wanted to show them a French greeting. The police now have this pervert in custody. Make no mistake. He will soon be deported and banned for life from the peninsula. And good riddance to bad trash. Young people have the right to go to school without being pawed by sexual offenders. Here's the link.

I turned on Fox News. Donald Trump has set the world on flames once again with his Twitter account. He accused MSNBC talking head Mika Brzezinski of having a low IQ. He also said that she showed up at one of his hotels bleeding from a face lift. According to him, he quickly turned her away. Trump is doing a lot of things right--including insulting the mainstream media. His list of accomplishments are vast. The travel ban is in now in effect. He just passed Kate's Law. Obama care is out the door. NAFTA is being renegotiated. The Trans-Pacific Trade Deal is in the garbage bin. And tax relief is on the way. I like Big Don a lot. I just can't help myself.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Korean tourist falls to his death in Thailand

(A Korean tourist falls to his death in Thailand.)

Yesterday, I had beef and French fries for dinner. The meal was wonderful. The juice from the meat ran down my fat chin, and the fries were salty and covered in ketchup. My wife's a great cook. She's a regular Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I read the news from China. A housekeeper from Hangzhou named Mo Huanjing has a terrible gambling addiction. She borrowed $14,000 from her employer, telling the woman that she was using the cash to buy a house. She blew it all on internet slot-machines. Mo then set her employer's apartment on fire in order to avoid paying the debt. Her selfish act killed four people, including three young children. China knows how to deal with people like Mo. She won't be on this earth much longer. Here's the link.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's nice to eat beef in the comfort of my own home. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They spend their days being hounded by headhunters in the deep dark jungle. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in New Guinea.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that President Trump was giving an internet interview to Dick Gregory. I called the show and told Donald that his son had died. He promptly fired me from his staff.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean tourist aged 40 flew to Pattaya, Thailand on June 20. He was supposed to meet his wife later in the month. He got drunk and fell out the window of his condominium. His room was on the 37th floor. His body was discovered next to the pool. The powers-that-be are currently investigating the accident. Here's the link. 

I turned on Fox News. Lawmakers erected a six foot statue of the 10 Commandments on the lawn of the Arkansas State Capitol. An angry atheist ran into the monument with his Dodge Dart. The work of art was quickly reduced to little pieces of gravel strewn across the grass. The vandal was promptly apprehended by the proper authorities. He faces a very large fine and possible jail time.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everyone.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

SHOCKING: Students caught masturbating in front of female teacher

(Eight naughty boys were caught masturbating in class.)

Yesterday, I had chicken soup for dinner. The poultry came in a broth filled with rice and ginseng. The meal was quite delicious. My wife's a great cook. She's a regular Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff. A good time was had by all.

I turned on CNN. Pastor Rowland Foster is from Pennsylvania. He doesn't believe in modern medicine, placing his trust in faith healing instead. Unfortunately, Pastor Foster's two-year-old granddaughter came down with pneumonia. He refused to bring her to a doctor, and the young girl died from her ailment. The man is now facing criminal charges for neglect. If I were king of the world, I'd cut this geezer's ears off with a meat-cleaver. It's a good thing that nobody listens to me.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty misanthrope. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to drink coke and eat chicken in the comfort of my own apartment. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They spend their days feasting on monkey brains in the deep dark jungle. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Tanzania.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Eight middle school boys got busted for masturbating in front of their female teacher. The crime occurred in the city of Daejeon. Thankfully, the victim will no longer be required to instruct these naughty pupils. The students were forced to take five days of sexual education classes before returning to school. This case is currently the talk of the entire peninsula. Most Koreans believe that the punishment was far too lenient. Here's the link.

I turned on Fox News. Republicans are having a tough time passing the new healthcare bill. The republican plan truly sucks ass, but Obamacare is no work of genius, either. I'm one of the rare Christian conservatives who believes in a single-payer system. Americans have been held hostage long enough. It's time to expand Medicaid in order to get everybody covered. The rich can still see their doctors of choice. But the rest of us poverty-stricken swinging dicks need relief.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Elderly man stabs Vietnamese daughter-in-law to death

(An elderly Korean man commits a senseless murder.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a restaurant for dinner. We had spicy chicken served on a bed of glass noodles. The food was OK, but the amount was quite small compared to the money we paid. But I kept my mouth shut. Why rock the boat? I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju. I got quite drunk. A good time was had by all.

I turned on CNN. Six black teenagers from Florida robbed a man's house. They stole his Porsche and took $200,000 from his safe. The money was the man's life savings. They blew all that cash on jewelry, video games, and gold teeth. The teenagers were eventually apprehended by the powers-that-be and will spend the next several years in a juvenile detention center. If I were king of the world, I'd have these boys savagely caned in the public square. Then I'd cut off their hands with a rusty hatchet. It's a good thing that nobody listens to me.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to eat chicken and get drunk with my family. I love talking crap with my boys. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They were born in countries where drinking alcohol is considered an ungodly crime. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Yemen.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a strange dream. I was lying down with an old man who had a large gray beard. A mountain lion was sleeping at our feet. I borrowed his pistol to kill the beast, but it didn't fire when I pulled the trigger. I nearly shit my pants with fear.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a freshly brewed cup of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. An 83-year-old man from Seoul killed his daughter-in-law with a knife. He stabbed the unfortunate woman in the neck and back as she slept. She eventually bled out. The reason? He felt that she didn't treat him with the proper respect. Lots of foreign ladies are brought to this country for marriage, and the amount of abuse they are often forced to endure is truly a sin. I truly hope that Gramps dies in prison. He should never again see the light of day. Here's the link.

I turned on Fox News. The United States Supreme Court says that Trump's travel ban is constitutional. The final result is a no-brainer. The president has a right to keep potentially dangerous people out of the country. Here's the thing with the loony left. They honestly believe that Trump is the next Hitler. So they do anything in their power to put roadblocks in front of the guy--even if those roadblocks are against the American Constitution. They feel in their fevered brains that they are saving the population from themselves.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Protesters chant 'hire Koreans over foreigners' in Seoul rally

(There was another protest in Seoul.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a restaurant for dinner. We enjoyed a beef buffet at a local eatery. The price was eighteen dollars per person. I'm a broke dead dick, so I usually don't go to these types of places. But sometimes a man has to splurge. The food was quite delicious. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju. A good time was had by all.

I turned on CNN. A 37-year-old junkie broke into his dad's house on Father's Day. He needed money to feed his addiction. Therefore, he hit the old man on the head with a baseball bat and then proceeded to rob him. Unfortunately, the geezer died from his injuries. His corpse was eventually found by another family member. If I were king of the world, I'd have this criminal drawn and quartered. Patricide is an unforgivable crime. It's a good thing that nobody listens to me.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, eating beef at a restaurant with my children is a wonderful event. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They live in countries where cows are considered holy. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in India.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Six thousand construction workers marched in Seoul, claiming that foreign workers are taking their jobs. And they're absolutely right. According to the law, only 70,000 immigrants should be granted visas in the construction industry. However, 300,000 are currently residing on the peninsula. These workers also depress the wages of their Korean counterparts. These poor guys haven't had a raise in nearly twenty years. Here's the link.

I turned on Fox News. The state of Illinois is now forcing pro-life doctors to perform abortions. If they refuse to murder innocent children, they could face stiff fines and reprimands. This law isn't going to cut the mustard in my great nation. It will eventually be overturned. Doctors have the right to follow their conscience. Abortion not only kills babies, but it also damages the mothers who go through with the procedure. They often spend the rest of their lives stewing in their own guilt.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Father of five falls to death in 'rope cutting' murder

(A painter from Seoul falls to his death.)

Yesterday, I made fried chicken for dinner. I cooked the meal using ample amounts of both salt and grease. The bird came out all hot and crisp and delicious. I'm real handy around the kitchen. Love is my main ingredient. Perhaps I'm half-a-fag. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju. I also drank a large cup of beer. I had a great time.

I turned on CNN. A woman from California named Kimberly Felder thought her 11-year-old daughter was possessed by the devil. So she took the child to the beach and filled her mouth with sand. After that, she began beating the girl in the head with a piece of driftwood. Luckily, a passerby stopped the assault and called the police. If I were king of the world, I'd tie a millstone around this loon's head and throw her into the ocean.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to eat poultry while relaxing in my living room. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They spend their days picking food out of dumpsters in order to keep from starving. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Venezuela.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didnt' dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A drunk man from Seoul was lounging in his apartment. He then saw a painter outside of his window. The workman was listening to music on a smart phone. The drunk told the painter to turn down the volume. The painter refused. In a fit of rage, the man walked to the roof and cut the painter's rope. The poor guy fell 30 meters to his death. He had five children. Here's the link.

I watched CNN. Bill Cosby's trial resulted in a hung jury. I have a sneaky suspicion that the result was racial. The two black jurors simply couldn't put the former Dr. Huxtible in prison even though he's a dirty rapist. Oh well. These things happen. I just feel sorry for all the ladies who were drugged and buggered by this deeply disturbed human being.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Man fined for child pornography-related crime

(A Korean man got nabbed for child pornography.)

Yesterday, I had spicy pork and rice for dinner. I didn't like the meal very much. I'm not a huge fan of Korean traditional hot sauce. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles like the village retard. I'm wonderful that way. The glass is always half-full at my humble abode. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched CNN. Leland Foster drove to his estranged wife's house in rural Oklahoma. He dragged her and his twin children into the bathroom. He tried to drown the infants in the bathtub. A brave twelve-year-old girl ran to a neighbor named Cash Freeman for help. Cash brought his pistol to the scene of the crime and proceeded to blow Mr. Foster's head clean off. The twins are doing fine. I'm a strong supporter of the Second Amendment. In fact, if I were king of the world, I'd force all of my loyal subjects to own a gun. Those who refused would be flogged in public. It's a good thing that nobody listens to me.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to view television in the comfort of my warm apartment. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They spend their days living in huts without electricity. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in rural India.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A man from Seoul was caught uploading child pornography to the internet. Some of the victims were in elementary school. This asshole was fined $4,500 dollars for this horrendous crime. Child pornography is viewed mainly as a mental health issue here on the peninsula. Violators are often given a free pass. Here's the link.

I turned on Fox News. A bunch of black students took over the administration offices at Evergreen College in the state of Washington. They wanted a day without white people. They demanded that whitey leave campus for a 24-hour period. Most of the libtards agreed to this crazy demand. However, one brave professor told them to go take a flying screw at a rolling donut. The leaders of this ridiculous protest are currently trying to get the guy fired.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Cheers.

Monday, June 5, 2017

Markets banned from selling raw chickens amid bird flu fear

(Raw poultry is not being sold in supermarkets.)

Yesterday, I had pork ribs for dinner. The meat was covered in tangy barbecue sauce. My wife is a wonderful cook. I stuffed my face as if it were my last day on earth. I ate so much that I thought my stomach might explode. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff. A wonderful time was had by all.

I watched CNN. A ninety-year-old man was pushing a shopping cart down the sidewalk in Manhattan. The old geezer was minding his own business and enjoying the sunshine. Suddenly, a young punk hit him on the side of the head with a wooden cane. The poor guy went crashing to the ground. Gramps is currently in the hospital recovering from his injuries. The doctors think that he will live. Meanwhile, the teen offender was caught and carted off to prison. If I were king of the world, I'd have this villain flogged and fed to the lions. It's a good thing that nobody listens to me.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty misanthrope. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to eat pork in the comfort of my own home. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They worship a false prophet who forbids them from consuming pigs. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Yemen.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Avian flu was detected in chickens from Jeju Island. Now Korean supermarkets are banned from selling raw poultry. The powers-that-be fear that the flu bug might spread to humans. I've suffered from avian influenza in the past. A miracle drug called Tami-flu cured me in just a matter of two days. Here's the link.

I turned on CNBC. John Kerry spoke about the terror attacks in Europe. He blamed the murders on lack of Islamic assimilation. He believes that many Muslims feel so alienated by their host countries that they go on killing sprees. Mr. Kerry is a real horses ass. He's blaming the victims rather than the murderers. According to John, everything would just be fine if the Europeans would invite terrorists to their neighborhood barbecues. What a simpleton.  

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Cheers.