Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Dog meat market to close down

(The Moran dog meat market is now closed.)

Yesterday, I had beef and French fries for dinner. The meal was excellent. My wife is a great cook. She's the Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched an episode of Gotham. The Joker has his face cut off by a sycophant who is trying to bring the arch-criminal back from the dead. The Joker wakes up wondering what happened to his visage. He tracks the guy down and staples his flesh back onto his head. Then he blows up a chemical factory as he laughs on live television like a madman. Gotham is disturbing. It's doesn't remotely resemble the Batman I used to see as a child. Maybe that's a good thing. Blam. Splat. Kapow.


I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy misanthrope. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to eat beef in a warm apartment. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They live in the hot desert and feast on deadly cobras. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a freshly brewed cup of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Korean government is closing down the infamous Moran dog meat market. 80,000 dogs were annually slaughtered and sold in this location. Lately, nearby residents have been complaining about the noise and the smell. So the denizens of the peninsula will have to buy their canine elsewhere.

I turned on Fox News. Neil Cavuto claims that Trump is responsible for the jump in the stock market. And he's absolutely right. But I wouldn't celebrate just yet. Interest rates are still at historic lows, giving the American bullshit economy an artificial boost. We won't know where we truly are until we get back to a normal three percent.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Ride On)

Monday, February 27, 2017

S. Korea defeats Cuba 6-1 in warm-up before World Baseball Classic

(Baseball is very popular in Korea.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a restaurant. We had sashimi with all the fixings. The meal came with raw shrimp, kimchi, and steamed fish. My youngest son loves sashimi. He shoveled the food into his mouth at the speed of light. He's an expert at the chopsticks. I consumed two bottles of soju. A good time was had by all.

I watched Hacksaw Ridge. It's playing at the local cinema. The movie is wonderful. It centers around an army private named Dawes who's a conscientious objector. He wins the Medal of Honor for saving seventy-five men from the Japanese pagans during WWII. Mel Gibson's a treasure. His films are often inspired works of genius. Who will ever forget Braveheart or The Passion of the Christ? Certainly not me. He was supposed to make a movie about Vikings several years ago. However, he got caught badmouthing the Jews, and his career took a huge hit. It's good to see him back to form.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's wonderful to take the family to the movies from time to time. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They live in the deep dark jungles and eat fried tarantula for supper. Talk about a pisser. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Borneo.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. South Korea defeated Cuba 6-1 in baseball. Baseball is the most popular sport on the peninsula. The stadiums are always full on the weekends. I used to support the Samsung Lions, but now I'm an SK Wyverns man. SK has an American manager. He needs all the support that he can get.

I turned on Fox News. Darrell Issa is calling for an independent investigation of Trump and his ties to Russia. Issa is a turncoat republican, and he needs to go take a flying screw at a rolling donut. Hillary lost because her vaunted blue wall collapsed. The working class people thought she was disgusting. Putin had nothing to do with it. Big Don should start kicking ass and taking names. It's time for traitors to feel his wrath.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(For Whom the Bell Tolls)

Friday, February 24, 2017

105 offenders caught in teenage prostitution bust

(Prostitution is a huge problem in Korea.)

Yesterday, I had chicken tortillas for dinner. The meal was excellent. My wife is the tortilla queen. I shoved food into my unattractive mouth at an alarming pace. It truly felt like my stomach was about to burst. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched the latest episode of Six. One of the SEALs is killed while attempting to rescue Rip. His buddies put his ashes into a canon and fire his remains across a golf course. Meanwhile, Walton Goggins is forced to call himself a war criminal on national television. If he refuses to comply, several Nigerian school girls will get blown to bits. I'm a big fan of Walton. He has the best teeth in showbiz.

(Walton and His Wonderful Teeth)

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to eat chicken while watching TV. Unfortunately, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They're so poor that they use their bare hands as toilet paper. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Philippines.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I defecated in a tiny bathroom in New York City. The walls were made of glass. All the denizens of the Big Apple could see my bare ass.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. 105 Koreans were apprehended in a teenage prostitution ring. Asia is rife with prostitution, and the peninsula is no exception. Purchasing sex is supposedly illegal, but it happens all the time. It's very sad when children get caught up in the world's oldest profession. If I were the king of the universe, I'd throw all these assholes off a cliff. But sadly nobody listens to me.

I turned on Fox News. CPAC is now underway, and Trump is the star of the show. Even the great Ron Paul has been overshadowed by our wonderful new leader. I truly feel that Donald might go down as the greatest president in our nation's history. In order to secure his legacy, he must transform the tired old Republican Party into the American Workers Party. He needs to keep the working class in the tent.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Let 'Em In)

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Woman jumps in front of subway train in Daegu

(Suicide is a huge problem in Korea.)

Yesterday, I had beef and French fries for dinner. The meal was wonderful. I ate every last morsel on my plate. My wife's an excellent cook. She's the Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched another episode of Supernatural with my son. Dean gets zapped by a malignant witch. The spell turns his brains into goo. He can't remember anything--including his own name. Consequently, Sam is forced to place a call to evil Rowena in order to get some help. They end up killing three witches--thereby breaking the spell. Supernatural comes with my highest recommendation. The show has a great sense of humor.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's great to eat beef from time to time. Unfortunately, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They live in the deep dark jungle and are forced to feast on monkey brains. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Uganda.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A twenty-eight-year-old Korean woman from Daegu tried to kill herself by jumping in front of a subway train. Luckily, her attempt failed. Depression is a huge problem here on the peninsula. Korea leads the world in suicides. Most commit the deed by jumping out of their apartment windows. Maybe the government should start putting happy pills into the nation's drinking water.

I turned on Fox News. Next month, the Supreme Court will decide if transgendered people should be allowed to use the bathroom of their choice. Donald Trump, however, believes the issue should be settled by each individual state. His detractors state that this is an issue of civil rights rather than states' rights. I have a penis, so I always use the men's room. The last thing I want to do is lay down a nasty deuce next to a female stranger. But that's just me.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Rock and Roll Girls)

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Drunk threw egg near President's mansion

(A man was fined for throwing an egg near the president's mansion)

Yesterday, I had hot chicken soup for dinner. The meal also included rice and ginseng mixed with the broth. My wife is a wonderful cook. I ate every last drop in my bowl. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched several episodes of Supernatural with my nine-year-old son. He's a huge fan of the show. Lucifer is running amok in America. He's now in charge of the White House and has even impregnated one of his staff. Sam and Dean save the president with a magical golden egg which casts Satan back to hell. Supernatural sounds pretty stupid, but the show is actually a lot of fun. All the jokes snap, crackle, and pop. I give it my highest recommendation.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to watch Supernatural while slurping on chicken soup. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They eat monkey brains and wash it down with tainted water. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Tanzania.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that one of my friends was on anti-depressants. I asked if I could have her pills. She told me no.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A drunk Korean man threw an egg near President Park Geun-Hye's mansion in Seoul. He's angry about the current political strife here on the peninsula. The cops brought him to the station. He was then given a twenty-five dollar fine.

I turned on Fox News. Milo has resigned from Breitbart News. He got caught saying some nasty things about pedophilia. For instance, he praised his abusive priest and said it was OK for willing teenage boys to have sex with adult men. I'm glad that Milo's gone. His campy act was starting to get under my skin. I've got nothing against homosexuals. But the last thing we need is a flamboyant queen as the new face of conservative politics.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Boy George)

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

US soldier charged with rape in Busan guesthouse

(A US soldier was recently charged with rape.)

Yesterday, I had spicy chicken for dinner. The poultry was so hot that it nearly burned a hole through my tongue. But that's OK. I like fiery vittles. I washed the meal down with several bottles of water. Sometimes, water is the only drink which truly quenches my thirst.

I watched the UFC. The main event featured a bout between Derrick The Black Beast Lewis and Travis Happa Browne. Both men are epic bad asses. Travis started the fight with many kicks to Lewis's midsection. The Black Beast doubled over in pain on several occasions. However, Derrick managed to turn out Happa's lights in the second round with a huge right hand. The match was one for the ages. The UFC seldom fails to please me.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, eating fiery chicken is a lot of fun. However, many people will never experience this kind of joy. They spend every waking hour toiling in the fields for a little bit of rice. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in rural China.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I was being forced to climb a mountain by my wife.

I said, "OK, I'll climb the fucking thing. Just leave me alone."

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A US soldier has been charged with raping a Korean woman in the city of Busan. The man met the young lady over a dating application. They had drinks at a local eatery and became intoxicated. According to the victim, he forced himself upon her even though she resisted. The soldier claims that he is innocent.

I turned on Fox News. President Trump called the media the enemy of the people in a recent press conference. I love Trump. He's the king of hyperbole. Furthermore, his orange skin is very attractive. Big Don has a point. The media really dropped the ball when it came to fair election coverage. According to the talking heads, Hillary's victory was a slam dunk.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Proud Mary)
 

Friday, February 17, 2017

Grammy-nominated British DJ convicted of drug smuggling

(A British DJ brought GHB into Korea.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a restaurant for sashimi. We also ate freshly cut octopus. The tentacles were still wiggling back and forth as we swallowed it. The meal was delicious. I'm a huge fan of seafood. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju. Soju and raw fish go together like ketchup and French fries. A good time was had by all.

I watched the latest episode of Six. The show stars Walton Goggins as a former Navy SEAL captured by Boko Haram. He's placed in a cell and forced to watch as one of his female friends is gang-raped by crazy Muslims. Six is a great series filled with violence and naughty language. I give it my highest recommendation. But I'm biased. I love Walton Goggins. He's got the best teeth in the universe. They're so big and white.

(Walton Goggins and his teeth.)

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to eat sashimi at a local restaurant. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They're so poor that they often get their dinner from a dumpster. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I'm not some hobo living in Chicago.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had another dream about defecating on the floor at Burger King. The customers were horrified. One irate woman even hit me with her Whopper.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A British DJ was convicted on charges of drug smuggling. He got caught with GHB at the Incheon Airport. This lowlife was sentenced to two years in prison. However, the sentence was suspended by a lenient judge. GHB is often used to rape women. It renders people unconscious when put in their drinks. If I were king of the world, I'd throw that sick bastard off a cliff. It's a good thing nobody listens to me.

I turned on Fox News. Former general Mike Flynn was forced to resign after leaks revealed he was cozy with the Russian ambassador. Trump blamed the overzealous media for destroying the reputation of a good man. And Big Don is absolutely right. The assholes at CNN and NBC keep implying that the president and his advisors are dangerous Manchurian candidates who are in bed with Vladimir Putin. These networks even questioned whether or not Flynn is traitor to his country. The whole idea is laughable.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(The Band)

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Duterte threatens to kill Korean gangs

(Duterte vows to kill Korean gangs.)

Yesterday, I went to a restaurant with my wife. We ordered fried chicken and spicy rice cake. The meal was delicious. The rice cake was so hot that it nearly burned a hole in my tongue. I washed the vittles down with a pitcher of Max Beer. A good time was had by all.

I watched the Super Bowl. It looked like the Falcons were going to run away with the game. Atlanta's defense was very aggressive and quick to the ball. Plus the Patriots couldn't stop Matt Ryan. At one point, he had completed thirteen out of fifteen passes for three touchdowns. But the Falcons sucked ass in the fourth quarter. They simply just lost faith in themselves. The Patriots rallied from a twenty-five point deficit to become the champions. I have no idea how Atlanta will come back from this mysterious implosion. I've never seen anything like it.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to watch the NFL. Sadly, lot's of people will never experience this type of joy. They spend their sad little days following hockey. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Canada.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that my youngest son was selling cigarettes illegally to make pocket money.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Filipino president, Rodrigo Duterte, has vowed to exterminate Korean gangs selling drugs in the Philippines. Duterte is famous for his extra-judicial killings of Filipino criminals. As a Christian, I go back and forth on the issue of the death penalty. Some days I'm for it, and other days I'm against it. I'll just leave it at that.

I turned on Fox news. President Trump says that he has a lot of respect for Vladimir Putin. He's seeking a productive relationship with the Russian president. Bill O'Reilly called Putin a killer. Donald responded by saying that we live in a world filled with murderers and that we must learn to deal with them. He also said that he's looking for Putin's cooperation to deal with ISIS.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everyone. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Pink Floyd)
  

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Four killed in Dongtan landmark building fire

(Four Koreans were killed in a fire.)

Yesterday, I had bacon and eggs for dinner. The eggs were served sunny-side up so that I could dip my toast into the rich yellow yolks, and the bacon was crisp and salty. The meal was delicious. I washed the vittles down with several large cans of imported beer. A good time was had by all.

I watched the season finale of Vikings. Vikings is currently the best show on television. Ivar the Boneless and his armies crush the Anglo-Saxon army and take King Egbert prisoner. They force Egbert to commit suicide in his subterranean Roman bath. The king obliges by opening his wrists with a small savage blade. Later, Ivar is offended by one of his brothers. He kills the man with an axe. Vikings rocks. I can't wait till next season.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy misanthrope. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, I'm glad that I wasn't born a Viking. I'm far too fat and physically weak to find success in that type of environment. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I'm not a Navy Seal or a member of the Hell's Angels. That would truly suck ass.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Four Koreans were killed in a fire that broke out in a shopping mall. They didn't die from the flames but rather from the toxic gas floating in the air. There's not a lot of street crime here on the peninsula. However, accidents are quite numerous and claim thousands of lives annually.

I turned on CNN. A federal judge from Seattle suspended Trump's refugee ban for the foreseeable future. Consequently, folks from war-torn Syria will now be permitted to live in America. It's important to remember one thing. Donald did his best to keep my country safe. When one of these Islamic ass-hats sets off a bomb on Main Street, USA, we can't blame the president. This was a political move by a liberal activist judge. He must accept the consequences for his actions.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(CCR)
 

Friday, February 3, 2017

China's ban shifting hallyu to Southeast Asia

(Korean dramas are no longer welcomed in China.)

Yesterday, I ate pork and French fries for dinner. The meal was absolutely delicious. My wife really outdid herself. The meat was thick and succulent, and the juices actually ran down my fat unattractive chin. I also enjoyed several glasses of Pepsi. I'm a broke dead dick, so I usually drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

I watched several episodes of Oz. What can I tell you? I'm entranced. Kareem has given up on the notion of peace. He spends his days shanking every Aryan he can find. His actions often land him in the hole. Meanwhile, Hoyt buries Reverend Clutier alive in the prison walls. An explosion occurs, and the poor pastor is burned to a crisp. The men in Oz are treated like animals. Their endless suffering makes me feel better about my own miserable life.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, I've never been sodomized by a criminal. Lots of people aren't as lucky as me. They spend their days behind bars giving blowjobs to bikers, Aryans, and gang-bangers. Things could always be worse. At least I don't reside in some forsaken penitentiary.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that my mother was dating the lead singer from Iron Maiden. His name is Bruce Dickinson, and he wanted to fly me to London on his private plane.

I said, "I'm not going anywhere with that rock and roll asshole."

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Korean dramas are very popular throughout the Asian world. However, China has recently banned them from its airwaves. The powers-that-be are upset that South Korea is allowing the United States to set up the THAAD missile system here on the peninsula. The missiles are used to knock down incoming rockets. China is concerned about American hegemony in Asia.

I turned on Fox News. A homosexual named Milo Yiannopolous attempted to give a speech at Berkley University. The liberals went crazy. They assaulted many innocent bystanders with pieces of wood and metal. They also smashed windows and set fires. The violence got so out of control that Mr. Yiannopolous had to flee for his life. These leftwing radicals view Milo as some sort of Nazi. This is supposed to justify their bad behavior.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(CCR)