Friday, March 31, 2017

Murder suspect says 'I don't remember'

(An eight-year-old girl was murdered in Inchon.)

Yesterday, I went to McDonald's for dinner. I had a Big Mac and a large order of French fries. The meal was delicious. All that starch sent me straight to the moon. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of genuine Coca-Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so usually I drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

I watched several episodes of The Shield. Ronnie and Tavon get into a huge fight. Ronnie's wife hits Tavon on the side of the head with a hot iron. The poor guy stumbles out the door with blood leaking down the side of his face. He gets into an accident and crashes through the front window of his van. The Shield is one of the best shows in the history of television. Anyone who refuses to watch is a fag. Plain and simple.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, eating fast-food is a hoot. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They are too busy feasting on snakes and lizards in order to stay alive. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Tanzania.

I went to bed at ten o'clock. I dreamt about having coitus with a beautiful black woman. We had a wonderful time. She really seemed to like me.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A seventeen-year-old female Korean got arrested for killing and dismembering an eight-year-old girl. The crime took place in the city of Inchon. The suspect claims that she can't remember a thing. If I were king of the world, I'd have this low-life burnt at the stake on the charge of witchcraft. It's a good thing that nobody listens to me.

I turned on Fox News. President Trump is at odds with the conservative members of the Republican party. They refused to pass his health care plan, so he's steamed. Donald desperately needs a win. The best thing he could do is concentrate on tax reform and building the wall. Getting the trillion dollar infrastructure program off the ground wouldn't hurt, either. I feel the president's pain. My country needs a single-payer health care system. It's time to put the insurance companies out of business.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Kansas)

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Prosecution seeks warrant to arrest Park

(Lots of Korean presidents have gone to jail.)

Yesterday, I had hot-wings and French fries for dinner. The meal was delicious. The chicken was so hot that it nearly burned a hole in my tongue. But that's OK. I love spicy cuisine. My wife is a wonderful cook. She's the Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched the latest episode of The Walking Dead. Negan attempts to recruit another one of Rick's crew. This time, he's brainwashing the skinny black girl who used to date Abraham. She's currently locked in a closet with the body of a dead walker. Meanwhile, Rick and his friends have stolen the guns from the Amazon camp. Rick plans to make Negan bleed. The Walking Dead comes with my highest recommendation.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to watch zombie shows while relaxing in bed. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They drink dirty water and eat whatever they can catch. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Gambia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Korean powers-that-be now wish to arrest former president Park Geun-hye for corruption. This news really isn't a big deal. Lots of Korean leaders have spent time in the pen. The peninsula is rife with political crime. Money is always changing hands to pay for favors.

I turned on Fox News. Paul Ryan's new health care plan completely shit the bed. President Trump must be careful. First of all, Ryan has never been a friend. The man should be publicly flogged and driven from the senate. Secondly, is Donald just another dyed-in-the-wool Republican pretending to be a crusader? Paul Ryan is the type of silly choice that ass-hats like Mitt Romney would make. Trump had better get his head out of his rump, or he'll be out the door in four years.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(In the Court of the Crimson King)

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Operations start to lift Sewol ferry

(The Korean government is trying to raise the Sewol ferry.)

Yesterday, I had pork and French fries for dinner. The meal was delicious. My wife's an excellent cook. She's the Asian Martha Stewart. We eat a lot of pig at my humble abode. It's both cheap and tasty. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched an episode of Criminal Minds. It's the sickest show on television. A disturbed young man believes that Satan killed his parents after they get sucked into a massive sinkhole. He hated his mom and dad, so he wants to thank the dark overlord by sending the fallen angel innocent souls. To that end, he kidnaps the nicest people he can find and forces them to commit suicide. Criminal Minds comes with my highest recommendation.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy misanthrope. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's nice to eat pork and French fries. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. These unfortunate bastards live in Muslim countries and are forced by their governments to abstain from consuming pigs. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Saudi Arabia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I went to China for a vacation. I was nearly bitten by a deadly cobra. I cried out happily when the snake's fangs missed my flesh.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Korean government is attempting to lift the Sewol ferry from the bottom of the ocean. The Sewol sank back in 2014, killing over 300 people. Most of the victims were high school students. Korea is a weird place. There is virtually no street crime. You can walk safely in Seoul at any time of the day or night. But the ROK's blatant disregard for safety kills a ton of people every year. Go figure.

I turned on Fox News. Devin Nunes has confirmed that the government wire-tapped Trump Towers both before and after the election. This surveillance required a FISA warrant, so the person being watched was an American citizen. In other words, the Russia story is a giant sack of shit. The spooks don't need a FISA warrant to spy on foreigners. I'm not surprised that the intelligence community got caught again with their greasy hands in the cookie jar. We all remember James Clapper lying to congress about data collection. I've said it before. Trump needs to take these assholes down a peg or two.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Ringo Star)

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

American woman assaults Korean taxi driver

(An English teacher assaults a Korean taxi driver.)

Yesterday, I had chicken and French fries for dinner. I wasn't too crazy about the meal. The chicken was stale, and the fries were soggy. But I didn't complain. I just ate my vittles with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I'm wonderful that way. The glass is always half-full at my humble abode.

I watched the latest episode of Homeland. Carrie's child is still in foster care. Social services believes that her lifestyle is a threat to the young girl. On top of that, Carrie is a manic depressive who has all kinds of weapons stored around her house. Meanwhile, Peter wants his vengeance against the man who murdered his former friend-with-benefits. He gets the info he needs by threatening to kill his former boss. Homeland is a great show. I recommend it highly.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty nihilist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to watch great television in bed. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They're so poor that they can't afford beds. Instead, they sleep on the cold floors of their hovels. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in India.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. An American English teacher in Seoul was arrested by the police. She stands accused of kicking a taxi driver several times in the stomach and legs. This 34-year-old crazy woman admitted her crime to the police. However, she blamed the driver for taking a wrong turn. If I were king of the world, I'd have this trollop caned and deported. It's a good thing that nobody listens to me.

I turned on Fox News. Donald Trump nominated Neil Gorsuch for the Supreme Court. Mr. Gorsuch is now trying to get confirmed by the powers-that-be. He's a strong choice who stands firmly against abortion. Therefore, the democrats are doing everything they can to get in his way. Modern day liberals are really beyond my comprehension. They leave a trail of dead babies and transgendered bathrooms wherever they go. I just don't understand them. Perhaps I'm retarded.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Rocky Top)

Monday, March 20, 2017

US, China poles apart over NK

(America is getting tired of North Korea's antics.)

Yesterday, I had pork and French fries for dinner. The meal was delicious. The meat was juicy, and the fries were crisp and salty. My wife is a talented cook. She's the Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched the UFC. The best fight of the night featured Alan Jouban against Gunnar Nelson. The first round seemed evenly matched, but I gave it to Nelson because he managed to score a take down. In the second round, Gunnar hurt Alan with a sneaky right hand. After that, he choked his opponent until the poor man was forced to tap. I love the UFC. All that blood makes me feel like an arm-chair Viking.

(Gunnar Nelson smothers Alan Jouban in UFC Fight Night 107.)

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to munch on pork and French fries in a warm dry apartment. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They're so poor that they use their own hands for toilet paper. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Philippines.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Rex Tillerson met the president of China. He expressed his regret regarding North Korea's missile program. Tillerson claims that a first-strike response from the United States is firmly on the table. He wants China to control its belligerent neighbors.

I turned on Fox News. Rapper Snoop Dog made a video where he shoots a clown dressed up like Donald Trump. To make matters worse, Snoop's nephew Little Bow Wow said that he wanted to turn Melania Trump into a whore and force her to turn tricks. What's happening to the African-American community? How can this type of rhetoric be seen as civilized? I truly don't get it.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Ozzy)

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Deaths, injuries in protest after impeachment decision riles Park supporters

(President Park gets kicked out of office.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a restaurant. We had sashimi with all the fixings. The meal came with kimchi, steamed fish, and raw shrimp. We also ate tortured octopus. The poor beast was cut to pieces while still alive. We devoured the tentacles as they squirmed to and fro. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju. A good time was had by all.

I watched several episodes of The Shield. The Shield is one of the greatest television shows that America has ever produced. Dutch is on the trail of a serial killer. This pervert has just murdered a 12-year-old prostitute. He enlists the help of an FBI profiler. The agent is forced to give Dutch the bad news. Many more will die before the culprit is brought to justice. The Shield is a work of pure genius. It comes with my highest recommendation.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to eat raw fish with my family. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They're dead broke and are often reduced to feasting on rat meat and cold rice. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Laos.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at noon and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Korean president was removed from office. This set off violent riots in Seoul. Three people were killed and countless others were sent to hospital. Dying for a corrupt politician like President Park seems kind of pointless. Even her father was a crooked stooge.

I turned on Fox News. Trump has been doing some good things. Nearly 300,000 jobs were created in states like Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Indiana. Plus illegal immigration is down. Donald is fulfilling his promises. He's building a wall across our southern border, and he's also dismantling Obamacare. It's nice to have a leader who does what he says and says what he means.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Paul Simon)

Thursday, March 9, 2017

'Pro-female activist' student booked for upskirt photo

(A Koran pervert got nabbed taking naughty photos.)

Yesterday, I had chicken wings for dinner. The meal was so hot that it nearly burnt a hole in my mouth. I actually drank a liter of Pepsi in order to control the pain. But I like to eat spicy stuff, so I'm not complaining. I find the extreme discomfort exhilarating. Who knows? Maybe I'm a masochist.

I watched the season finale of Gotham. The Joker is finally subdued by Bruce Wayne and promptly sent to the local insane asylum. Meanwhile, the Penguin expresses his forbidden love for the Riddler. In response, the Riddler shoots him in the abdomen and shoves him off a barge. I'm really getting sick of the homosexual agenda. Even comic book characters are being turned into fags by the Hollywood elite. Is nothing sacred?

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy nihilist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to eat chicken and drink cola. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this joy. They live in the deep dark jungle and have never actually tasted first-rate poultry. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Amazon Rain Forest.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean college student got arrested for taking upskirt photos of unsuspecting young women. The irony is that he was a pro-female activist on his college campus. He often criticized male students for speaking about the ladies as if they were sexual objects. Go figure.

I turned on Fox News. Wikileaks had a recent document dump describing how the CIA spies on its targets. These spooks can track you through your smart phones, laptops, and television sets. None of the news was actually very surprising. The American intelligence community is out of control. Trump needs to take these assholes down a peg or two.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Pink Houses)

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Liberal lawmaker 'revenged' with nude images

(Pyo Chang Won is being lampooned by his fellow citizens.)

Yesterday, I had chicken soup for dinner. The chicken was stuffed with rice and ginseng, and served in a broth. The meal was delicious. My wife's a great cook. She's the Asian Martha Stewart. I washed the vittles down with several cups of genuine Pepsi Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I usually drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

I watched The Bates Motel. Norman killed his mother last season. Her carcass now resides in the fruit cellar. However, Norman's convinced that she's still alive. He often talks to her even though she's not really there. He also dresses in drag to kill his victims. Norman just met the Loomis girl. Things will not end well. I give The Bates Motel my highest recommendation. I like it a lot.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's a ton of fun to watch first-rate television programs. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They live in the woods and have no access to electricity. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I'm not some mountain man living in Montana.

I went to bed at 9 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Pyo Chang Won is a liberal politician in Korea. Lately, protesters have been hanging naked pictures of him and his wife around Seoul. The photographs are fakes. Nevertheless, the lawmaker wants to catch the offenders so that they can be severely punished. Democracy is still in its infancy here on the ROK.

I turned on Fox News. The Republicans are presenting their alternative to Obamacare. Their ideas seem to be complete bullshit which will bankrupt my countrymen. I support a single-payer system. The cost of health care is killing the average American and driving down our standard of living. It's time to let the government have a crack at the problem. And why not? The private sector is draining us dry.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Summer Nights)

Monday, March 6, 2017

Korea to take on Israel in WBC 1st round

(Korea plays Israel tonight in baseball.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a restaurant. We had sashimi with all the trimmings. The meal included raw shrimp, kimchi, and steamed fish. We also devoured an octopus that was cut into pieces while still alive. It's tentacles moved as we ate the meat. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju. Sashimi and soju go together like ketchup and French fries. A good time was had by all.

I watched UFC 209. The main bout featured a match between Tyron Woodley and Steven Thompson. Both men were very cautious. The respect that they showed for one another turned into a real drag. They were terrified to let their hands go. The crowd showed their dissatisfaction by booing the fighters. In my opinion, UFC 209 was a dud. But these things happen. I remain an ardent fan.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, eating raw fish and drinking booze is a ton of fun. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They live in landlocked countries where fresh fish is not available. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Afghanistan.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Word Baseball Classic starts today. Korea will challenge Israel at the Sky Dome in Seoul at 6:30 p.m. I'm a big fan of baseball. My favorite team is the SK Wyverns. They just hired an American manager, and I feel it's important to support my countryman. I'm wonderful that way.

I turned on Fox News. Trump claims that Trump Tower was bugged by the Obama administration. Many believe that Donald is a paranoid loon. But I have faith in the guy. The American government is corrupt to the core. For instance, we know that the NSA has been spying on our citizens for years, so the idea that Obama would pull a dirty trick like this doesn't strike me as being too far-fetched. I believe that Trump will uncover a lot of dirt about our leaders. That's why they all hate the guy.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.

(Zebra)

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Drunken woman sets herself on fire after fight with husband

(A Korean woman set herself on fire.)

Yesterday, I went to McDonald's for dinner. I had a Big Mac and a large order of French fries. The meal was delicious. I'm a huge fan of junk food. All that starch sends me straight to the moon. I washed the vittles down with a huge cup of genuine Coca-Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I usually drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

I watched several episodes of Banshee. Banshee is an overwrought crime drama featuring lots of sex and violence. Nevertheless, it's quite entertaining. Rebecca has been cruelly killed by a satanic serial killer. The guy actually has horns. And now the entire town is desperately searching for the culprit. Meanwhile, the Aryan Brotherhood is attempting to take over the drug trade from the show's main gangster.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to eat hamburgers and French fries in a nice warm apartment. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They are too poor to eat meat. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Liberia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I accidentally touched a young woman on her buttocks. She threatened to report me to the police. I apologized profusely. Luckily, she forgave me.

I woke up at 7 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A woman from Seoul got into an argument with her husband. During the heated conversation, she became very drunk. She demanded her car keys, but her husband told her to take a taxi. She then set herself on fire with gasoline. She's currently recovering from second-degree burns at a local hospital.

I turned on Fox News. The democrats want Jeff Sessions to resign because he talked to the Russian ambassador. Sessions refuses to resign, but he has recused himself from the investigation. This is a slimey ploy by the powers-that-be to delegitimize the Trump presidency. But it won't work. Big Don shall remain in power for the next eight years.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Enjoy the song of the day.