Monday, April 17, 2017

Gastric bypass surgery shatters Afghan woman's Korean dream

(Gastric bypass surgery is risky.)

Yesterday, I took my family to dinner at a local restaurant. We purchased four pork steaks and cooked them at the table. The meal was delicious. I'm a huge fan of pork. It's both cheap and delicious. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of soju. I became quite intoxicated. A good time was had by all.

I watched the UFC. The main fight of the evening featured Demetrious Johnson versus William Reis for the flyweight title. The match wasn't close. Demetrious is on another level from the fighters in his division. He controlled Reis easily for three rounds, cutting his opponent badly with many vicious elbows. The matt was stained crimson with William's blood. After that, he submitted Reis with an arm-bar. This marked the tenth defense of his title, tying the record held by Anderson Silva.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's a ton of fun to watch the UFC in the comfort of my own home. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They live in grass huts and are forced to drink water tainted by malaria. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Malawi.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had another dream about defecating in Burger King. The customers looked on in horror as a dropped a steamer on the floor.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. An obese woman from Afghanistan is married to a naturalized Korean citizen. She went to the doctor to get a band placed on her stomach in order to lose weight. It turns out that she was pregnant at the time, and the procedure made it impossible for the fetus to get proper nutrition. Therefore, she was forced to have an abortion. She is now suing the hospital for emotional distress.

I turned on CNN. A large black guy from Ohio filmed himself on Facebook as he murdered an elderly man. The victim was also black. Furthermore, he admitted to committing many other homicides. The suspect is currently on the loose. He's considered armed and dangerous. If you see him, run as fast as your legs will carry you. This weirdo obviously has a few screws loose. If I were king of the world, I'd have him roasted alive in a giant barbecue pit. I'd even put an apple in his mouth. It's a good thing that nobody listens to me.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Don't forget to visit my message board. Cheers.

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