Saturday, June 3, 2017

Policeman jumps off bridge after being caught buying sex

(A policeman gets caught paying for sex.)

Yesterday, my wife was very angry, and she refused to make me dinner. That's OK. I'm nearly 250 pounds, so I spent the evening being nourished by my considerable blubber. I washed the blubber down with several glasses of genuine Pepsi-cola. Unfortunately, I'm a broke dead dick, and I usually drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

I turned on CNN. The mayor of Portland, Oregon, is named Ted Wheeler. He's a liberal snowflake who wants to ban conservative rallies in his city. He blames the alt-right for the recent murders committed by Jeremy Christian. Jeremy is the guy who butchered two men on a train with a large knife. But here's the kicker. Mr. Christian hates Donald Trump. The guy voted for Jill Stein. Mayor Wheeler should go take a flying screw at a rolling donut. The man is an idiot.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings upon my life. For instance, it's fun to live in a country where a man can become grossly obese. Sadly, lots of people will never experience this type of joy. They live hand-to-mouth and don't even have the benefit of clean drinking water. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Ethiopia.

I went to bed at 9 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A policeman from Seoul got nabbed paying for sex. Prostitution is actually against the law in Korea--even though there's a whorehouse on every street corner. This individual panicked and decided to jump off a bridge to deal with his shame. Fortunately, he lived. He's currently in a local hospital recovering from his injuries. Here's the link.

I turned on Fox News. Comedienne Kathy Griffin recently took a picture of herself holding the severed head of Donald Trump. The next day, she delivered a teary-eyed apology after public opinion shifted against her. Now she has hired a lawyer and is claiming that President Trump is trying to ruin her career. My opinion? All publicity is good publicity. This stunt keeps her in the newspapers.

Anyway, my quiver is empty. So long for now, and God bless everybody. Cheers.


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